The Letter
by Rachel Selina
Summary: This story takes place during and after “A Washington Affair” but I have slightly changed the episode ending for my own writing needs.
1. Part 1:The Reprecussions

Part 1 Started: 09/01/06

Part 1 Finished: 11/01/06

**Author's Note **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

This story takes place during and after "A Washington Affair" but I have slightly changed the episode ending for my own writing needs.

**The Letter**

**Part 1 – The Repercussions**

**By Rachel **

As Michaela Quinn closed the heavy door of her hotel room, she leaned up against it and allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief. With the knowledge that her children would now be safe, she could let one small piece of her mind rest.

The thought of them made her heart leap because she knew how deeply she would miss them. How deeply she already missed them. But no they were safer where they were; tucked safely onto a train on their way home.

_Oh Home_, how sweet that word sounded as it echoed in her head. It was like music in springtime. Oh how she wished that she was going with them but she couldn't allow herself to be sidetracked by doubt or self-pity

No. She had a goal. She had a plan. She couldn't possibly think of home now; not when Sully needed her to be strong and brave.

As she stood against the wooden door, she let herself catch her breath. In less than half an hour Eli would be returning for her. Once that happened, the escape plan would be triggered and there would be no turning back. The rescue of her beloved Sully would be set in motion, the ultimate consequences uncertain, though the danger ever looming.

What a terrible series of misunderstandings there had been to arrive at this place.

It all began with the overheard threat to the Presidents life, and swiftly continued out of control with the omitted names from the Indian Affairs list, which in turn had caused a few too many people in high places to notice their party. And all of this had been rounded off by Sully's arrest for desertion. She had a feeling that whoever was behind the desertion charge was also behind the threat to the President's life.

She had left the initial planning to General Parker, seeing as knew better than her what their possibilities were. Though, given his careful decisions, she wondered what would happen if they were successful. At this point she refused to think about what would happen if they failed. No, now she had to consider what the next step would be if this plan worked.

She decided that their first action after securing their safety would be discovering who was behind Sully's imprisonment and how that connected to the threats against both President Grant and the Indians. Knowing the depth of Sully's kindness, the honourable decency that coursed through his veins, she knew that they would not be leaving Washington until everyone was save, not just him.

However before any of this could start she had to get ready. She had to focus!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General Eli Parker ensured that the children were safely on board the train and that they weren't about to jump off as soon as his back was turned. Once he was satisfied he made is way back to meet Dr Quinn, or Michaela as she insisted that he call her.

Matthew, Colleen and Brian sat back begrudgingly feeling like they were letting Sully down by going home, they sighed heavily, almost admitting defeat. The train suddenly lurched forward as it moved out of its sidings. Realising that there was nothing that they could do now, the children settled back in their seats and prepared themselves for the long journey back to Colorado Springs. To home!

Brian let out a yawn and ever the concerned sister, Colleen, realised how late it was. She suggested to her little brother that he take a nap. Reluctantly, Brian folded his jacket up, pushed it against the window and promptly used it as a pillow. Closing his eyes he fell asleep within minutes.

However sleep was not going to come as easily to Matthew or Colleen who both knew, although wouldn't verbally admit, that something was very wrong.

Reaching into his jacket pocket Matthew pulled out the letter that his Ma had given him just before they left. She had left strict instructions that they weren't to open it and to give it to Miss Dorothywhen they arrived home.

Matthew held it firmly for what seemed like ages, almost trying to convince himself of the validity of what he was contemplating. Knowing what he had to do but reluctant nonetheless he opened it………and silently read:

_Dear Dorothy_

_If you are reading this then Sully and I are dead._

_As you may recall the purpose of our visit was to ensure the right appointments for the Indian Agents of the Colorado Territory. This we succeeded in achieving._

_However just as we were about to depart to come home Sully was arrested for desertion._

_He is scheduled for execution at dawn tomorrow!_

_I have to get him out Dorothy I just have to!_

_General Parker and I intend on breaking Sully out of prison tonight. If by some miracle that we don't get shot in the process we will be running for our lives. We need help Dorothy._

_Cloud Dancing left prior to this as yet I am unsure of his reasons for departing early but I believe that he may have been returning straight back to Colorado Springs._

_I know that you haven't always understood my love for helping the Cheyenne but I beg you to get word to Cloud Dancing . His brother and I desperately need his guidance and prayers._

_I have sent the children home as it is just not safe here and I entrust them into your care, as you are the closest thing I have to family in Colorado Springs and I know that they will be well cared for._

_Please tell them that we love them dearly and will miss them terribly._

_Thank you._

_Your dear friend,_

_Michaela. _

Releasing the breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding, he handed the letter to Colleen and said, with absolutely no doubt or room for question in his voice, "We'll trade our tickets in at the next station. We're goin back."

Colleen accepted that her brother was not going to listen to any arguing but she was still curious about his sudden change of heart, so opening the folded piece of paper that lay on her lap she too read the letter. Gasping at the first lines, she handed it back to Matthew and nodded her agreement.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michaela just couldn't settle herself. She had resorted to pacing in an effort to keep her mind off the predicament that they were all in. It wasn't working! She was so anxious to get underway that she felt that she was going to be sick! Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Afraid that the government authorities had discovered them she hid.

When no one answered Eli knocked again and gently pushed the door open saying "Dr Quinn…Michaela…"

Jumping up from her hiding spot, relief clearly written on her face Michaela said, "Oh Eli, it's you, I thought that we had been found out."

Equally relieved to see her safe Eli said, "You ready to go? We haven't got much time."

With a nod, as if to say _Yes more than ready,_ Michaela gathered her things together the two left the room leaving it just as they had found it when Michaela had arrived a week before.

Eli had already briefed Michaela on the plan but just to make sure that she knew what they were doing he went over it again. "When we get to the war office we change into the prison officers clothes and then you drive the transport wagon to the prison."

"Yes Eli, I know the plan and yes I'll be ok driving it."

Eli then realised that he was probably going over the plan more for his own sake more than hers but he continued anyway. "When Sully comes out, he will probably want to help. He will have worked out what's going on….let him."

"But what if he gets shot?" Michaela questioned with concern hanging over each word. "I couldn't live with that"

"He'll be fine, don't worry. Once we get him in the transport wagon, don't look back just go as fast as you can."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry I'll be there."

"We will dump the wagon at Murder Bay and then I'll meet you back at the records office, I'll send word don't worry."

She maintained a confident façade, so that her fear could not consume her. "As I said before Eli, I know the plan so stop worrying about me."

"Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this Michaela? This is your last chance to back out. There is no certainty that we will succeed and there is no assurance that we won't be hurt or worse. Are you prepared for that?"

Michaela only nodded her head to let him know that she was ready for whatever may come. She had justified every danger in her mind. It was all worth it because without Sully there was every guarantee that her heart would be broken.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did back out," he said, in an attempt to persuade her. "You have the children after all." Eli was hoping that she would see reason when the children were mentioned, but he really didn't know Michaela Quinn.

"Eli, Sully and I have so much history and so much to live for. We can't live without each other. He is almost like the air I breathe. When I'm not with him, I feel dead inside. It's slowly killing me knowing that we're apart and he may die. I have to do this. I have to! He is my life!"

Eli didn't think that he had ever heard such a declaration of true love in his life, he was so moved by the tears he could see in Michaela's eyes. "I think that I can understand a little more now Michaela, he really is a lucky man to have someone like you in his life, someone who is willing to die to save him."

"Thank you Eli, from both of us."

With that said they set into action for what was going to be a very long, hard, and potentially dangerous night but hopefully a fruitful one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matthew and Colleen had been discussing their plans when Brian stirred.

He looked at his brother and sister and immediately sensed that something was going on.

"What's up?"

"Nothing" was Matthew and Colleen's very quick reply.

Noticing the letter in Colleen's hand Brian wasn't convinced by their quick answer so he tried again "Ain't that Ma's letter? You opened it!"

Realising that their inquisitive little brother was not going to be bought of with a _nothing _Matthew decided to tell Brian the finer points of the letter and their plans.

"Ma's in trouble Brian, she needs us."

Brian sat there taking in the information that Matthew had just relayed, he then said "What kind of trouble."

"What kinda trouble does Ma normally get into?" was Matthew's smart-aleck reply.

Seeing Matthew's point and with a small grin on his face Brian said "So what we doing about it."

Colleen took the lead, and holding one of Brian's hands in hers she said, "We are trading our tickets in at the next station and going back to Ma and Sully."

Satisfied at that answer Brian said, "Ok, but maybe we should send word when we change trains?"

Matthew sat there quietly and listened to Brian's suggestion, agreeing that it might be wise in case something happened he said "Ok Brian, we'll send a telegram to Dorothy and ask her to somehow get word to Cloud Dancing so he knows what is going on."

Having made their decision to go against their mother's wishes and return to Washington but to send word at Roanoke, Virginia all three of the children began to relax for the first time since Sully had been arrested.

Matthew knew that there was still a long way to go before they reached Roanoke, and they could start to think about going back to their Ma.

Silence had filled the cabin. Brian once again showed signs of tiredness and was told to try and get some sleep. Closing his eyes he thought of happier times and of his home and Pup. It wasn't long before his thoughts turned into dreams and he was once again sound asleep.

Matthew had placed his hat over his eyes in an attempt to try and get some sleep himself but he knew that it would be impossible, so he just rested his eyes and tried to think positive thoughts.

Colleen stared out of the window. While still clutching the letter in her hand her thoughts turned to Sully and what he had done that could be so terrible that he wouldn't even tell Dr. Mike. She then pondered on what had made him join up in the first place. Not being able to come up with a reasonable answer, she wondered if Matthew knew. "Matthew?" Colleen said in a soft voice so as not to wake Brian.

"Mmm…what is it?"

"Oh I was just wondering if you knew why Sully joined the army and why he never talked about it. I mean we've known Sully for ages now and we never knew that he was in the army. What do you suppose he did that would make him want to hide it for this long?"

"I don't know for sure but I reckon he joined up after Abigail died. I know he was lost and just wanted to run so I guess he wanted to lose himself in the war but it didn't really work out like that."

"As for what he did…I guess we'll never know unless Ma tells us, which I doubt she will. But none of this should change how we feel about him Colleen, he still loves Ma and us and we're still going to be a family."

"Yes I know that Matthew, I still love him as well I guess I just wanted to know that's all."

"Well now you know can we get some sleep?"

"Sure thing and thanks."

With that the talking ceased and all that could be heard was the clackety-clack from the train as it sped over the rails towards Roanoke, Virginia.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the city square clock striking midnight was the only sound that could be heard for miles around. That was until the prison gates creaked open and a guard led a shackled Sully out to the waiting transport wagon. Sully took one look at the transfer officer and knew instinctively that it was Parker.

Not really knowing what was going on but suspecting that Michaela had arranged something Sully took his chance, as he was loaded into the wagon, he kicked one of the guards.

This didn't surprise Eli; in fact he had almost expected it! As soon as it happened he shouted to Michaela "**GO!**"

With a sharp crack of the reins Michaela deftly steered the cumbersome wagon at lightning speed through the dark streets of the nation's capital.

Arriving at the designated detachment point, Murder Bay, Eli helped Michaela down and between them assisted Sully into the safety of one of the shacks.

Michaela had brought Sully here to rest because she trusted these poor people. It seemed to Michaela that the whole world had forgotten them, but she refused to ignore their need. She knew that her previous kindness would help them now.

They had previously visited Murder Bay with Cloud Dancing when they had first arrived and she had treated some of the sick children.

_Cloud Dancing_ …. _Oh how I wish that he were here and not safe at home. ….He would know what to do …He would know where to go. _

These exasperating thoughts ran uncontrolled through Michaela's mind. She couldn't allow herself to become bogged down with thoughts of home and those that she loved. She had to tend to Sully. She had to get him free from his restraints before anything else. So turning to the task in hand she attracted the attention of an ironmonger named Isaiah and asked if he could give them a hand.

"Sure Ma'am," was the reply and within five minutes he had Sully free.

Feeling that his presence was no longer needed and that he was intruding Isaiah left quietly, leaving Michaela and Sully alone for the first time in days.

Turning to Michaela and gently stroking her cheek with one hand and holding her hand with the other Sully said "Oh Michaela, why didn't ya go home? You coulda been killed."

Before she had a chance to answer, Sully pulled her into a fierce embrace that spoke as much of his relief as his love for her. Slowly pulling back, Michaela prepared to answer but Sully seized her lips with his in such a passionate kiss that both were left breathless.

Momentarily stunned by Sully's overly public display of passion Michaela just stood there.

She soon realised that Sully's actions were more than likely a result of the sudden change in circumstances as much as anything. After all, he thought that he was never going to see her again, and that kind of shock would be enough to make anyone act the way that Sully just had.

Michaela placed a finger lovingly on his lips and said, "I couldn't leave you. I would die for you, don't you know that. You're free now and that's all that matters, we can talk later."

Before resuming their previous activities there were "I love you's" said on both sides. Then all talking ceased for a little while and the conversation of the heart of two soul mates started as they kissed and caressed each other, all worries were gone.

No one existed except these two lovers in their moment of passion. Until there was a tap on the door and Isaiah's wife Gabriel said, "Lady doctor, soldiers comin'."

Giving Michaela one last quick kiss Sully grabbed hold of one of her hands and said, "Don't stop running till I tell ya to."

With that they took off like cheetahs being hunted. They had to get away. They had to get to the rendezvous point to meet Eli but how?

Just as Michaela was beginning to think that they had got this far for nothing Gabriel saved them again by opening a side passage to the back of Murder Bay.

They were safe yet again. Michaela didn't know how much more of this she could take. But she knew that they had to keep going. They had to make it to meet Eli.

Gabriel brought some clothes for Sully so he would look a little less inconspicuous. She also brought two horses to aid their escape.

With a nod of thanks for all their help Michaela and Sully went on their way, staying off the main street as much as possible and just hoping to arrive in time to help the President.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the train pulled in the children prepared to disembark and locate the ticket office.

Just as Matthew stepped down he glanced up at the station clock, which read three in the morning. Sighing heavily, he realised that even if they got the next train back to Washington they wouldn't be there until half past five. Would this be too late?

He didn't know, but he couldn't do anything about the speed of a steam train or the time differences that the country had. He just had to hope that they would be in time. They had to be.

Though tired and worried, he was brought back to the present by hearing Brian's question.

"Are ya sure that we're doing the right thing Matthew?" was Brian's immediate reaction upon placing his feet on the platform.

"Brian we discussed this. We agreed that Ma needed us and that we were going back."

"I know Matthew but I'm just worried that Ma'll be mad."

Knowing that his brother was probably right caused Matthew to chuckle softly to himself. They all knew what a temper Michaela Quinn had, but her heart was always in the right place.

"She probably will be little brother but she'll realise that we only came back because we wanted to help. She'll get over it."

Listening to her brothers' fairly inane discussion did not amuse Colleen, as she knew that time was their enemy and they had to find a telegraph office and the ticket office before the last train left.

Reaching into her purse she held the letter gently but firmly, almost in an attempt to remind and reassure her of what they were doing and the validity of it.

Realising that her brothers were still, strangely, in a world of their own, to her it seemed like they were avoiding getting on the train. She had to snap them out of this.

"Matthew?" receiving no response she tried a little louder "Matthew!"

Shocked by his sister's outburst Matthew turned around sharply and said "Yes Colleen what is it?"

"We need to get moving, we have to exchange these tickets and send that telegram."

Appreciating that his sister was right and that if they didn't get a move on they wouldn't be able to get back in time to do anything Matthew said, "Ok let's go and sort the tickets out first."

Finding the ticket booth was easy enough but there were a few problems with exchanging them.

Having finally persuaded the seller that this was an emergency and they had to get back to Washington today the children breathed a sigh of relief when the seller handed them fresh ones.

They were on their way. Whether they were ready or not they couldn't say but they were going back to their Ma and that was that. The next job was to send the telegram to Dorothy.

Marching at full stride Matthew looked like a man on a mission with Brian and Colleen trailing along behind like lost cubs following their father. It could have been an amusing site if it hadn't been for the grave circumstances that led them to be there in the first place.

Locating the telegraph office Matthew said, "What are we going to say?" He couldn't believe that they hadn't actually thought about this.

It suddenly struck all of them that if they sent a telegram at all then it would be obvious that they had read their Ma's letter. They had to think and fast.

Finally deciding that the easier solution, but not the most painless one, would be to just own up at a later date Matthew dictated the following to the telegraph officer:

_To, Miss Dorothy Jennings, Colorado Springs, Colorado._

_Miss Dorothy,_

_Ma and Sully in grave danger… STOP… Alert Cloud Dancing… STOP… Going back to Washington on next train… STOP…Will arrive by five thirty…STOP… Need prayers and guidance… STOP… Matthew._

Having read it back and asked Colleen and Brian for their approval he sent it. It was done now and there wasn't anything that they could do about it. Matthew then realised that they had to get on the train and quickly. So picking Brian up they sprinted down the platform and just made it before it pulled out of the station. That was too close.

Finding a sectioned off area they sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. They had done it. They were going back to Washington, to what they didn't know but they were going back to their Ma.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in Colorado Springs the town was beginning to wonder if Dr Mike was ever coming back. She seemed to have been gone for ages, when in actual fact it was only a week.

There hadn't been any emergencies of any description, which was lucky for Jake who was caring for the town in her absence it had been really quiet. _Almost too quiet_ he thought to himself as he wandered over towards the Gold Nuggett. Mind you it was two in the morning. _Most people would be sensibly tucked up in bed_ Jake mused to himself.

Glancing across the street he could see a light on in the telegraph office and it was obvious by the speed that Horace was moving that an urgent telegram had just come in. However Jake had to laugh to himself at the sight of Horace in his stripped nightshirt and bed cap; he had clearly just got up.

Deciding that he really couldn't be bothered finding out what was going on Jake turned around and went into the saloon for some gaming and socialising.

However just as he was about to step up onto the walkway he was almost knocked over by Horace running out of his office.

"Look where ya goin ya clown." Was Jake's impertinent statement but Horace was on a mission. Ever the diligent, official operator that he was he just turned around quickly, eyed Jake and said in his most upper crust voice "Out of the way got an urgent telegram."

Jake realised that hanging about the street wasn't going to help anyone so he went back to what he was proposing on doing, drinking.

Taking the telegram in his hand Horace went over to the store. Fearing that he may wake Loren who is cantankerous at the best of times didn't really fill Horace with a great deal of confidence but he had a job to do so knocking softly at first he said "Miss Dorothy it's Horace"

Hearing movement Horace hoped that it wasn't Loren; he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Miss Dorothy descending the stairs and coming to the door looking half asleep.

"What is it Horace? I was in bed."

Holding out the telegram to Dorothy Horace said, "Sorry Miss Dorothy but this just come for ya, it's urgent."

Dorothy thanked Horace, took the telegram and went back upstairs to read it.

Placing her lamp on the bedside table Dorothy sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the telegram, wondering who would be sending her something that was clearly urgent.

Turning the paper over, she read the contents silently:

_Miss Dorothy,_

_Ma and Sully in grave danger… STOP… Alert Cloud Dancing… STOP… Going back to Washington on next train … STOP… Will arrive by five thirty… STOP… Need prayers and guidance… STOP… Matthew._

"Oh Gosh Michaela" was her shocked, frightened statement to herself. She knew that she was the only one who could help her dear, dear friend. And help she intended to do right away.

Dressing quickly but efficiently she placed the telegram in her coat pocket and retuned to the lower floor of the store. Grabbing some supplies, and leaving a note for Loren she silently left.

Entering the livery she lit a gas-lamp so she could see her way to Charlie's stall. Quickly tacking her up and throwing the supplies over her saddle, as she was about to mount she was suddenly reminded of the true request of the telegram. Matthew hadn't actually asked that she was to come. He had specifically asked for Cloud Dancing to be told.

Dorothy held Charlie's reins firm because by now the horse was getting skittish and if horses could talk it would probably be asking "When are we going?."

Leading Charlie out onto the main street Dorothy was still trying to decide what she should do. Michaela, Sully and the children were the only ones who ever spent any time with the Indians and quite frankly half the time she really couldn't work out why. Deciding that she had to go against her better wishes because this was her best friend life at stake. She had to get Cloud Dancing but first she would get Horace to send a telegram back to Washington, hoping that it would get to Matthew.

Loosely tying Charlie up Dorothy knocked on the office door and seeing a very grumpy Horace opening up Dorothy explained quickly what had happened and that she needed to reply as quickly as possible.

Horace said, "Ok what do you want to say?"

Dictating as she thought Dorothy said,

"_To Matthew Cooper, Washington Station, Washington DC._

_Got telegram…STOP…On way with Cloud Dancing…STOP…Will be there soon…STOP…Take care and thanks…STOP…Dorothy_."

Handing over a quarter to Horace, who promptly handed it back saying, "That's ok Miss Dorothy this is for Dr Mike."

Nodding in appreciation Dorothy returned to Charlie and swallowing her pride sped off towards the reservation and Cloud Dancing.

As she neared the reservation Dorothy was surprised to see Cloud Dancing already mounted up apparently waiting for her.

"Ah-ho Dorothy, the Spirits told me that you would be coming. There is news from Dr Mike?"

"It is terrible news Cloud Dancing. Matthew sent word that their lives are at stake. We must go to them. We must!"

"Tell me what has happened. The spirits speak of danger but I need to know more but I agree that we should leave immediately."

"I will tell you on the way. Let's go."

So no sooner had she arrived, Dorothy and Cloud Dancing were departing for Denver where they would get the train to Washington.

During the ride Dorothy filled Cloud Dancing in on the telegram that Matthew had sent and informed him of the children's' intentions of returning to Washington to help their Ma.

Cloud Dancing had been silent throughout all of this, deeply moved by the plight of his brother and his fiancée. He resolved to be of any help that he could but he knew that both he and Dorothy had a long journey ahead of them if they were going to reach Washington as soon as they could.

Shortly before six in the morning they arrived at Denver. Having been travelling all night in one way or another they were relieved to be able to actually get some sleep, if that was possible. They were on the final leg of the journey. In two hours they would be in Washington and would be able to finally see Sully and Michaela face to face. He just hoped that they would be in time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Michaela and Sully sat across the table from Eli scanning through hundreds of soldiers records Michaela glanced at the clock on the wall. Two in the morning, it was no wonder that she was beginning to feel tired and she suspected that Sully knew it but wouldn't say anything.

Glancing across at him she wondered what he was thinking about. Did he doubt that they would find the senator responsible, did he doubt her love for him. No she definitely didn't think that was worth the time it took to form the sentence. It had been a testament to her love for him that had resorted in the prison break.

It suddenly dawned on her that not only was Sully a fugitive, but she was as well.

The though chilled her to the bone. During it all, she had considered death, but never a fugitive status. All her thoughts concentrated on getting Sully free.

What would become of her?

What would happen to her….no their children?

Would she ever get out of this mess?

Under any other normal circumstance she would never have allowed such negative thoughts to enter her head, much less stay there. However, this wasn't a normal day or evening.

She had witnessed her beloved Sully being torn away from her right in front of the children.

She had witnessed hearing his sentence. No his execution.

She had sent her children home, she felt so alone, so afraid and yet Sully was here, beside her.

What was wrong with her? Why was she allowing herself to feel so desperate?

They had got out of tough situations before and she knew that they would get out of this one and be reunited with the children.

She just had to have faith. Faith in God and faith in their love that they could survive this!

She felt tears running down her cheeks, tears that she hadn't even noticed and now couldn't stop much less hide from Sully.

Sully at that precise moment looked up from his pile of papers and noticed for the first time that his "heartsong" was crying and looked so lost and unsure. He didn't know what to do for the best. _Should he go to her, should he just carefully_ _watch her. _While debating with himself his mind wandered much like Michaela's had previously.

All of this was his fault. He did this to her, …to them.

His own selfish pride had stopped him telling her about his time in the army and now that foolish arrogance had resulted in him being arrested and Michaela turning into a fugitive to save him.

How was he ever going to forgive himself?… No, how was she ever going to forgive him?…He had ruined everything because he wouldn't let her into his past. He hated himself and he wouldn't blame Michaela if she hated him too, but he doubted that, she wasn't capable of hate, only love.

How could she still love him after all this?

Although thinking about it she clearly did otherwise she wouldn't have done what she had…would she?

No, she had said that she would die for him. Yes, she loved him. That much was certain.

Deciding that self-reproachful talk wasn't going to help either of them now he went over to her and just gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head, as if to say _it's gonna be alright, I love ya._

Looking up from his own pile of papers Eli wondered why it had gone so quiet, and then he realised why. The undaunted doctor, who he had very quickly grown to admire was crying and her betrothed was showing her the same love and support that she had previously spoken of before the break out. There was no doubt in Eli's mind that what they had done in breaking Sully out had definitely the right thing to do.

There really was something special. Something almost unique about these two and he really hoped, with his whole heart, that they could sort this mess out and have the future that they so obviously deserved.

Michaela spotted something in one of her files. There it was. The very document they had spent the last hour looking for. She had it. She had the proof of Sully's innocence right there in her hand.

Suddenly she started shaking, she couldn't' control all of the emotions that were coursing through her_…_relief, fear, happiness, worry, elation. They were all so jumbled up that all she could bring herself to say was "It's here_…_It's here."

Both Sully and Eli immediately reached for the paper that Michaela was waving in the air. However Michaela held it firmly and read aloud " June 20th 1863…Lieutenant Byron Sully is ordered to report…signed Colonel George Steward."

Realising that the very person that they had been trying to track down was one of the very people that the President trusted the most spurred all of them into action. They needed to get to the White House and quickly.

Leaving the files strewn across the table Michaela grabbed the vital document and followed Sully and Eli out onto the street

Reaching the street first, Eli hailed a handsome cab and hurriedly helped Michaela and Sully in. Instructing the driver to go to the White House without delay, they took off at a full gallop.

The discussions on the way were ones of _how do we get in?_ And _what do we do when we get there? _Michaela remembered the secret passage that Brian had shown her and said to Sully "It's ok I know a way that we can get in unseen if Eli can distract the guards we should be fine."

Sully was surprised but knew better than to question his brave heartsong so he remained silent and just took Michaela's hand and gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze. Eli agreed to do his best to buy them some time.

As they approached the front gates of the White House Sully could sense Michaela's apprehension but he knew she would be fine once they were inside. Again he had to trust her, and know that she knew where to go.

He really was feeling less and less worthy of Michaela's time and affection as this whole affair progressed. He knew, as did Michaela that there was a need to talk and heal after this had ended.

The thought didn't really thrill him, not being a great conversationalist, but he was reminded that it was his lack of talking that had resulted in this to begin with so he owed it to Michaela to do what ever it took to repair the harm that he had caused.

He knew that Michaela wouldn't hold this against him, against them, but Sully still felt that he had to make the first move, which was going to be tough!

Eli's nudge on his arm brought Sully back to the present and when Eli said "We're here but before I go I just want to thank you Michaela…Sully for showing me that the law isn't always just. I sincerely wish you both all the happiness in the future and Good Luck."

Sully was speechless but what Michaela said next was what was in his heart as well. "It is I who should thank you. Your bravery has given me a second chance of love, a second chance of happiness with the man I love" reaching for Sully's hand she continued "and for that I will always be grateful and remember you. Good luck Eli and God speed." With that the cab came to a halt and they went their separate ways. Eli to his uncertain future. Sully and Michaela to change theirs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Matthew looked out of the window he realised that they were approaching Washington, again.

The sky had taken on a brilliance that he didn't think he had ever seen before. As the sun made its path through the remaining dark clouds of night Matthew wondered if the colours it was displaying were some kind of omen, good or bad, for today. He hoped that they were and that they would return home, together, as a family once again.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present he realised that they hadn't actually thought through this part of their journey at all. They really had no idea where to even begin to start looking for Michaela.

Waking Colleen and Brian from their slumbers Matthew said, "We're here. Got to get moving."

Brian looked at Matthew and Colleen and wondered what was going through their minds. Deciding that a conversation needed to be started he said, to no one in particular "What are we doing now, then?"

"I think that we should start at the senate and see if we can pick up anything," was Colleen's answer, but the boys didn't look convinced. "If we go asking questions we're bound to arose suspicion. No we need to be careful Colleen, we don't know what's happened since we've been gone."

Seeing her brother's point Colleen said, "Ok but where do you think we should start then?"

Brian, who had been quietly listening to this exchange suddenly, had a thought, The White House. "I know where to go," was Brian's sudden outburst. Colleen and Matthew were so stunned that they just stopped and looked at him. Sensing the confusion in his siblings Brian explained, "The White House."

Still not registering what Brian was talking about made Matthew say, "Now ain't the time for playing with friends Brian. We've got to help Ma."

"Don't ya see?" Confusion still reigned so taking a defeated breath Brian began to explain, hoping the penny would drop. "The President is in danger right?…Sully was arrested because he spoke up, right?…So they've gone to the White House to help the President."

Amazed that they hadn't thought that clearly annoyed Colleen and Matthew, but they had to give credit where credit was due so Matthew said, "Well done little brother I reckon you're right." Now they had to get to the White House and fast.

Just as they were leaving the station to hail a cab something caught Matthew's eye. He could have sworn that he just heard someone shout his name. There it was again, ye definitely his name.

Turning to face the sound he was caught by surprise as a telegraph operator handed him a telegram.

There was no doubt that confusion was the recipe for today.

Opening it up and reading the contents aloud, "_To Matthew Cooper, Washington Station, Washington DC._

_Got telegram…STOP…On way with Cloud Dancing…STOP…Will be there soon…STOP…Take care and thanks…STOP…Dorothy_."

Disbelief was quickly followed by elation and Colleen was the first to put voice to everyone's thoughts when she screamed, "They got it! Their coming!"

Turning to Matthew she asked, in a calmer voice "Does it say when, have we got to wait for them to get here before we go to Ma?"

Reading the telegram again to himself Matthew replied "No I guess we do it alone. They'll be here soon that's all it says."

With the knowledge that what they had done in disregarding their mother's request had paid off and their friends would be here by early afternoon filled the children with hope that all was not lost.

However the task for now was to get to the White House as quickly as possible, so continuing onto the street Matthew hailed a handsome cab and told the driver their destination and requested that he go as fast as he was able, it was a matter of life and death.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Eli got out of one side of their carriage he caused enough of a distraction for Sully and Michaela to get out of the other side without being spotted.

Taking Sully's hand firmly in hers she led towards the passage way and reaching it Michaela gave the secret doorway a gentle but firm push and then proceeded to enter beckoning Sully to follow her.

With a large amount of reluctance he did as she bid and followed her through the dark, dank corridor.

After what seemed like an eternity, or that's what Sully thought they arrived at the entrance to the President's office. Again with a firm shove the door opened and they were able to stand and breathe anew.

As time was of the essence Sully grabbed Michaela's hand in his they took off and ran down to the President's office, hoping that they were going to be in time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the journey to Washington Cloud Dancing had remained passive, quietly listening to the Spirits. He had known about this secret that his brother had, and had always tried to convince him to talk to Michaela about it. It was after all not Sully's fault that he'd been used and seen as an easy target for a dirty game the politicians were playing.

He suspected that Sully didn't truly forgive himself for what had happened and knowing Sully as he did Cloud Dancing also knew that he would assume that Michaela wouldn't be able to forgive, much less love, him for what he'd done. Sully would see his previous life as despicable and his present one as being built on a lie.

Cloud Dancing knew that the only person that could help Sully through this would be Michaela. However, he vowed to do whatever was within his power to help them.

He had a very strong feeling that the presence of the Spirits was going to play a very big role in his brother's healing and the renewal of his love with his heartsong.

That together with the knowledge of Michaela's true heart and knowing that she would understand and would not think any less of Sully for what had happened in his past reassured Cloud Dancing that things were not as bleak as they may at first appear.

Although he didn't doubt for one minute that it was going to be a very hard bumpy road for both of them.

Before he was startled out of reverie by a tap on his arm he decided that he would suggest to Dorothy that she take the children back to Colorado Springs with her and leave Michaela and Sully with him to begin their reaffirmation.

He knew that Dorothy would not question this, and if he was honest he also knew that she would be well aware of the reasoning behind his request.

But for now Cloud Dancing had to try and get some rest, they would be approach Washington by early afternoon, which is less than four hours away. He just had to trust that the children would be ok.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the children approached the White House all three of them began to feel more than a little apprehensive. They didn't even know for sure that their Ma would be here and if she was would she be alright. If she wasn't, well quite frankly they didn't even want to think of that scenario….no she had to be here and with Sully…they had to be alright.

When the cab pulled to a halt at the main entrance the children looked at each other before nodding their heads no further words were needed as the three of them raced across the lawns of the White House and headed for the same secret door that Michaela and Sully had coincidentally used before.

As they ran down one of the corridors, heading to the President's office they were more than a little shocked to discover Michaela and Sully running from the opposite direction, straight towards them.

"Ma!" "Matthew?" was the reaction from Matthew and Michaela as they spoke at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" Was Michaela's next statement.

"Never mind, we don't have time for that now but we will later you have my word on that."

Secretly Michaela was pleased to see her eldest son.

It was Sully who spoke the first words of realisation after the shock had worn off. "It's not that it ain't great ta see you guys but we have ta stop Steward and quickly.

"Whose Steward?" Was Matthew's first question but he quickly added, "Don't worry, I know… later."

Sully quickly filled Matthew in on their plan if you could call storming the President's Office a plan.

When everyone knew what they were doing it was actions stations. Colleen and Brian had been given the job of look out and distraction makers. Which given Brian's habit for creating mischief it was quite a good job.

Matthew agreed to be on hand if things should turn nasty, as they may well do if Steward should try to escape. That left Michaela and Sully to go and talk to the President and show him that Sully was set up.

Sully slowly knocked on the door and awaited an answer, none came so he tried the handle….It was open. Shielding Michaela behind him as they entered Sully quickly scanned the room to ensure it was safe.

Happy that there wasn't any immediate danger he invited Michaela to enter fully. But where was the President? Suddenly someone entered from a side room, trying to find cover for himself and Michaela wasn't easy, but they then realised that it wasn't needed anyway as the fine looking gentleman that had just entered was the very man that they had come to see.

It was the President. He was alive thank God.

They had very nearly succeeded in their plan. The only thing remaining was to inform him of the wrong doings of Colonel Steward. Approaching him cautiously Michaela was the first to speak "Mr President, sir?"

Surprised by the sudden sound of a lady's voice startled the President, quickly turning around to see who it was he was stunned that it turned out to be Dr Quinn!

"How did you get in here Dr Quinn and more importantly what ARE you doing here?"

"I am sorry for the intrusion sir but I….no we must speak with you. It is a matter of utmost urgency. A matter of national security."

Ulysses S Grant was not usually a man to be trifled with. He was a stickler for rules. Was a hard taskmaster and had the respect of his army, as he was Major General.

And yet, this woman, Dr Quinn, seemed to always be able to make him waver; he really couldn't explain it but there was something about her that mad him want to help and this situation didn't appear any different.

Sully had been watching the President keenly for any signs of weakening but he didn't hold out much hope.

Michaela on the other hand had, through her previous meetings with Ulysses grown to respect him as a honourable and fair man, who had the misfortune of being shown guidance from unscrupulous senators. She had every faith in him and trusted that he would agree to hear them out.

"Ok Dr Quinn. I will agree to listen to you. But hear this if I consider, at any time, that what you have to say is not worth listening to then I will have both you and Mr Sully speedily removed and thrown into jail. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir we understand and we will be quick I promise."

"Good, now maybe it would be better if we were to have a seat and then perhaps Mr Sully could relax a bit as well."

As they all took a seat Michaela wondered how to begin, but it seemed that Sully had already decided that he was going to be the one to tell the story. As it was his crime that he had to be freed from.

"Well sir, it started bout seven years ago when I joined up after my wife and baby died.

I was put on special assignment but I was tricked. The army said that I had to kill this high ranking officer and it would change the war."

Michaela glanced at Sully and saw such a look a fright in his eyes that she was stunned, he almost seemed to be mentally re-living the whole affair. She wanted to reach out to him but knew he hadn't finished so she remained silent and waited.

"When I killed him I felt so bad that I found out that he was only a business man and that I'd been set up!"

"I deserted shortly after but to this day I bitterly regret doin it but I had no choice, it was an order!"

"Who ordered you Mr Sully? I would find it hard to believe that I have such heinous officers under my control. I am now ordering you to tell me who did this!"

Taking a deep breath Sully prepared to relate the final part of the tale, hoping that by doing so he would finally be able to lay his past to rest. At least until he talked with Michaela he thought wryly to himself.

"Sir, ya really won't like it but I have to tell ya. It was Colonel George Steward"

"He's also the man behind the threat to ya life and the attempted shootin' of Michaela."

Silence fell in the room and it seemed that there was nothing alive until the voice of a grateful, relieved President could be heard saying,

"Thank you Mr Sully for your candidness and your bravery I know that it wasn't easy for you to tell me that and I respect you for doing so even though you probably would have preferred not to."

"Now as for Steward I had my suspicions but have you any proof?"

Michaela handed Sully the vital document containing his orders.

"This is my order paper sir."

Handing the document over, Sully felt that a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders. He just had to wait and see what his fate was going to be. Was it all worth it? It had to be.…It just had to be worth all the torment!

The room once again fell silent as the President perused the paper.

"Thank you Mr Sully. You have finally been able to do what I have been trying to do for years. You have proved what a corrupt senator Steward is. For that I am eternally grateful. Is there anything that I can do to repay your honesty?"

Looking at Michaela Sully knew what he had to ask for "Sir, Dr Quinn was forced to break the law in order for me ta be able ta tell ya bout Steward. Sir I will accept all the punishment that is due if ya will pardon Dr Quinn."

"Mr Sully I will do more than that. I will give you the honourable discharge that you should have had seven years ago and I will give you both unconditional pardons for doing your duty to this country."

Handing Sully his sword and stripes was all the thanks that Michaela needed.

Having received her fiancé back and free and also got an unjust man put behind bars was more than she ever dared dream of.

There was of course the small matter of the children that had to be dealt with but that could be sorted out later, maybe even when they got home.

Home. They could finally go home. Together forever.

However for Sully there still remained one very important job to do and for that he would need the help of Cloud Dancing, wherever he was but for now he would be happy to be able to celebrate with his family, his life.

**If you want to see what happened on the way home read on in Part 2 – The Resolution**


	2. Part 2:The Resolution

Part 2 Started: 13/01/06

Part 2 Finished: 13/04/06

**Author's Note **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

This story takes place during and after "A Washington Affair" and picks up exactly where "**The Letter – Part 1: The Repercussions**" finished.

**The Letter **

**Part 2 – The Resolution **

**By Rachel **

As the clock in the President's office struck nine in the morning and with the formalities over with Michaela and Sully, still a little shocked by the whole sordid affair, shook the proffered hand of Ulysses S Grant and left to inform their waiting children what had happened

They both knew that as soon as Sully opened the door to the adjoining corridor that there would be a barrage of questions.

Before they reached the door Sully turned towards Michaela and took her hand in his and said softly "I think it would be better to head straight to a café and go over the details once?"

Michaela held Sully's hand and gave it a gentle but firm squeeze and said "It's over…let's just spend the day relaxing with the children…and each other?"

"I agree Michaela but we do need to tell them what happened. Don't ya think that would be a good place to start?"

Feeling less than enthusiastic for re-living the entire ordeal Michaela was more than a little reluctant to face her family, but she knew that there was no choice; she had to leave the relative safety and peace of the President's office and face them.

Knowing that Sully was waiting for her response she thought that she had better say something and the only thing that came to mind was "I suppose so. We had better go."

Sully was only too aware of Michaela's hesitation, and if he was honest he really couldn't blame her. He suspected that she had only told him half of what had happened since he was arrested and he knew, even though he didn't like the thought, _they had to talk, alone and soon!_

Together they summoned the last ounce of courage that they had and opened the door. There was no logical reason for their fear except that none of this had been logical from start to finish, so why should meeting their family be any different. It was almost as if they were expecting something to happen and when it didn't they were both left wondering what to do next.

Matthew was the first to react, as he spun around, initially not sure who was exiting, were they friend or foe. As soon as he realised whom it was he ran straight into his Ma's warm embrace; a comfort that spoke far more than words would ever say.

Brian was the next to run into Michaela's arms. The poor boy had been so scared about losing another mother that he had only just realised that wasn't going to happen. This realisation provoked the down pouring of happy tears from both himself and Michaela.

Colleen looked at her brothers with a smile on her face. There was Brian who had never doubted that the three of them would get back in time to rescue their Ma, and he had been proved right. To look at him now, holding onto Michaela for dear life you would have thought that she actually _was_ his mother. It was a beautiful sight and one that warmed Colleen's heart.

Then there was Matthew, Colleen mused at how rarely he ever showed any yearning for physical affection from Michaela but here he was the first one to embrace her.

Colleen didn't think that she had ever felt more loved than she did at that moment and yet for some reason she was reticent in her reaching for Michaela's attention, Michaela noticed this and opened her arms to include Colleen as well in this family reunion.

Colleen readily moved towards her mother and mentor, whispering in her ear "I'm sorry Ma for everything"

"Shh that's alright sweetheart, we'll talk later. Let's just enjoy the moment ok?"

"Thanks Ma, I'm just so relieved that it's over and we can go home as a family!"

"Yes Colleen, we can all go home now." Saying the last while she sighed Michaela just couldn't rid her-self of this nagging feeling that she didn't really want to go home. Not now and maybe not at all.

Yes, she was tired, there was no doubt about that. And yes, she was incredibly relieved but there was just something…something she couldn't put her finger on that was troubling her. Something had changed. She somehow felt disconnected from Sully and this alarmed her.

Sully's gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. "Ya alright?"

"Yes I'm fine… just a little overwhelmed and tired that's all."

"Ya sure? Ya didn't even here Matthew say that he'd take the kids and meet us later."

"I'm fine Sully…let's go."

"Ok but I promise we'll make sure that you take a rest before going home."

"Thank you, that would be nice. Now let's go and get something to eat and see our family."

Sully once again got the sense that all was not right with Michaela. He was now positive that he had to do something; today, before the tickets were bought and the plans were made.

This much was certain they had to get away and recover both emotionally and spiritually from this trial. Quite how this was going to be achieved and where they would go he was as yet unsure of but he was positive that it was going to happen!

But for now the priority was time with his…no… their family. He really needed to talk with Cloud Dancing but that seemed impossible, as he wasn't even there. Taking Michaela's hand firmly in his he led her out of the White House and along Capitol Hill to meet up with the children.

To see this delightful couple strolling down the hill in the warm autumn sun you would have thought that they were stealing a couple of days away for a romantic interlude instead of being reunited after a most heinous miscarriage of justice. As they approached the main parade they could see an assortment of tables and ornately patterned parasols displayed to catch the eye of the passers-by.

Sitting at the far end of this parade was the very party they were looking for. Sully waved back when he saw the children calling him.

Again Michaela was reserved, almost detached, from what was going on around her. Sully was still unsure as to the reason for her behaviour. For the time being he decided to just accept it as fatigue and not bring it up, but that wasn't going to last once the children were on their way home.

When his parents reached him, Brian immediately rushed over to his Ma. He hoped that this union meant this was going to be the last time they were going to be separated.

As Michaela breathed a sigh of relief, and with a rather heavy Brian settling down on her lap, who it appeared wasn't willing to be separated from her, even by the distance of one chair length, Michaela could feel her body begin to relax, but her mind and emotions were far from doing the same thing

Noticing the change in his heartsong's demeanour pleased Sully although he too was far from at ease.

Matthew had been observing his Ma closely and could tell that she was exhausted in every way shape and form. He was not surprised in the slightest. He knew just how hard Michaela tended to push herself when there was a cause that needed fighting for or a problem that needed solving. Fighting for Sully was no different and yet very different at the same time. After all this man held her heart and soul, he was her life. Matthew knew that she wouldn't have stopped until he was free. Even if it meant risking her own life in the process.

He didn't believe that he had ever witnessed a truer testament to love than what he saw between Michaela and Sully, right here, right now. He didn't know how many other couples would put themselves on the line the way that Michaela had for Sully. He truly believed that they would go to the ends of the earth for each other and for that he admired them greatly. Forcing himself back to the present he asked his Ma softly, "Can I get you anythin to eat? You must be starved. You too Sully?"

Glancing toward Sully and seeing a nod in response Michaela replied "Yes, thank you Matthew it has been a long time since we last ate." In fact she couldn't remember when the last time was. For Sully it would have only been a slice of bread if he was lucky.

Turning towards the waiter Matthew said, "Can we have a plate of eggs and corn bread and a jug of coffee."

As the waiter turned and went off to fill the order Matthew once again turned his attention towards his Ma and said, "We're real sorry about everything that happened Dr. Mike. But there is one more thing that we need to tell ya."

Matthew turned briefly and looked to his siblings for support and reassurance. He knew that the next bit was going to be difficult, but he had decided when they sent the telegram to Dorothy that facing up to what they had done was the only way. Taking a deep breath he continued shakily, "When we were on the way home…we…that is I…opened your letter and we decided to send word to Dorothy when we changed trains at Roanoke. We're sorry and all but we felt that we had to do something."

Prepared for what he assumed would be the inevitable backlash and the fiery end of his Ma's temper Matthew was completely dumbfounded when all he got was a calm, resolute, "That's alright Matthew." Michaela continued while her son breathed a sigh of relief. "If we're being completely honest, I should be as well. I knew you'd open it because I knew that you didn't want to leave. Thank you for coming back and for thinking to fulfil my wishes of informing Cloud Dancing and Dorothy." Pausing to adjust a very weighty Brian, Michaela finished by saying "Do you know if they are going to be able to come, did they send word?"

"Yes Ma, we got a telegram before we left to find you. All they said was that they would be here as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Matthew."

Looking across at Colleen Michaela could tell something was troubling the young, impressionable girl. Placing her free hand on Colleen's arm she said "What is it Colleen?"

"But Ma aren't you mad?" Colleen quietly contributed for she had been listening to this discussion from her position next to Sully.

"I should be Colleen. You all know how I value privacy, however these were exceptional circumstances. And as such I will not hold this against any of you. You coming back, knowing that there was a likelihood that I would be cross with you all showed how much you love me…us, and I will always treasure that. Thank you."

By the time she had got to the last part there were fresh tears in her eyes and her voice was faltering, but she had made it to the end without it breaking. This fact that didn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially Sully who was rather perplexed by the whole discussion. He decided that he would ask her about it later when they were alone.

Thinking to himself that the amount of things to talk about just kept increasing. He was rapidly coming to the conclusion that wherever he ended up taking Michaela would be for at least a week in order to put all of this behind them once and for all.

Just as Sully was once again reminded of the importance of speaking to Cloud Dancing before too long, the waiter returned with their much needed sustenance. Placing the food onto the table the waiter turned to Matthew and asked, "Will there be anything else Sir?" Momentarily taken aback Matthew shook himself and said "No thank you that's fine."

Once the waiter had returned to the main seating area Matthew encouraged his Ma to eat. "Come on guys dig in." Trying to teach by example he proceeded to take a huge mouthful of eggs but didn't get much response from either Michaela or Sully who both seemed lost in their own worlds.

Glancing up at her son Michaela tried to put her best, strong face on and said, "Sorry Matthew, I guess I am more tired than hungry. I will try and eat something soon."

Noticing Michaela's reluctance Sully decided to try and show that it was ok to feel the way she did but that she needed to eat. So taking a spoon into his hand he filled it with eggs and offered it to her saying, "I know ya don't feel like eatin' now but ya got ta keep ya strength up. Please Michaela, for me?"

Hoping that the last request would make her eat Sully waited and was relieved to see her beginning to melt and reach for the spoon, which he gladly gave to her.

Slowly swallowing the eggs that Sully offered Michaela had to admit that they did indeed taste good, she was much hungrier than she had thought.

Just as Michaela reached for some more she saw Cloud Dancing and Dorothy walking towards them.

With a questioning look on her face Michaela arose and greeted her friend warmly, "Oh I'm so pleased to see you. When did you get here?" Dorothy placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder and said with a soft smile, "We just arrived. When we got word from Matthew we were both so worried that we left straight away. Are you alright?"

Michaela was secretly very relieved at having Dorothy there with them, and of course Cloud Dancing as well. So returning Dorothy's smile with one of her own as best she could. "Yes we're fine, tired but fine."

Taking a seat across from Michaela and glancing across at Sully who had been shaking his head during this and decided that silence was probably the best course of action for now Dorothy requested that someone fill her in on what happened while they ate and drank.

And so began the repeat story that Michaela had wanted to avoid. All listened intently as they took turns in relaying the events leading up to Sully's arrest and what had transpired afterwards.

However Sully noticed that Michaela was becoming more and more withdrawn and was speaking in such a hushed tone that hardly anyone could hear her. All was not well and he suspected that Cloud Dancing could sense this as well. She had once again stopped eating and was detaching herself from all of the talk.

Something had to be done and soon, Sully feared that if he didn't act he was going to lose her if not in body than in spirit and he just couldn't allow that to happen, not after all this.

Both Cloud Dancing and Dorothy had remained silent totally enthralled and amazed by the goings on but now they both felt the need to speak. Sensing that her friend had hardly touched her food and she suspected, as she knew Michaela only too well, that she probably hadn't eaten in days she had better say something so taking a deep breath she began.

"Come on Michaela, I know you're tired and you have been through a great deal but you have to eat! If I know you, you haven't eaten in days and Colorado Springs needs you back strong and healthy. We need you back strong and healthy. Just try and eat a little, please."

Seeing the desperation on her friends faces Michaela finally succumbed once again to the hunger that she had been trying to forget about. Satisfied that her point had been made Dorothy joined the rest of the group in digging into a well-deserved breakfast.

Once everyone's appetites had been sated the children's thoughts turned to the journey home. Although they really couldn't wait to get home to their own beds and their friends there was a matter that needed to be dealt with, and soon.

Looking to her older brother for reassurance before she spoke, a fact that didn't go un-noticed by Michaela, Colleen tentatively spoke "Ma?"

Trying her best to focus on what her daughter wanted Michaela sighed softly and said "Yes Colleen, what is it?"

There was now no backing out. Once again looking to Matthew for support if she should need it, and receiving a nod in answer Colleen spoke the next in such a rush that Michaela was forced to repeat the request in her head to make sure that she had actually understood. "Can we…that is, I mean, may we go down to the park? We'd really like ta spend some time with ya both 'fore we go home"

Knowing that her daughter was expecting an answer she replied while stroking Brian's hair as a distraction, "That will be fine Colleen, I've…no… we've missed you all too. We'll arrange the tickets home first and then we'll all head off to the park, ok?

With nods all round the children seemed content to return to their food, however Colleen's mention of home had caught Michaela off guard. Realising that she hadn't even thought about home since the escape threw Michaela. To be honest she didn't really want to go home, not yet anyway. She needed time! Time with Sully. Time on their own.

Michaela turned to Dorothy and spoke in a hushed tone so the children wouldn't hear her "Dorothy would you mind taking the children home today? Sully and I will follow on shortly."

Slightly caught off guard Dorothy had hoped that she would be able to at least catch her breath before returning home but one look at Michaela put that thought clear out of her head. This wasn't the time to be selfish; no now was the time to be a true friend.

Seeing her friend nodding in agreement gave Michaela a glimmer of hope. It appeared that neither Colleen nor Matthew had heard what she had said to Dorothy; however one look at Brian made her realise that he had heard the request and she now anticipated his response.

"But Ma, aren't we going home together? Don't ya want to come home?" Was the plaintive cry from Brian and he then promptly buried his face in her chest and cried softly.

Looking to Sully for help Michaela began rubbing Brian's back softly, gently reassuring him Michaela responded quietly "Oh Brian of course I want to come home! I love you all so much but I think Sully and I need some time together. Can you understand that sweetheart?"

Sully who was secretly pleased that it had been Michaela who had initiated the need for some time alone, moved so that he was kneeling down in front of Brian and said, "Brian, look at me?"

Once Brian turned his face to see Sully he continued, "You know that we love ya don't ya?"

Seeing the little boy nod his head he carried on. "Well ya Ma and I have been through a lot and we need some time to talk. It would be easier on ya Ma if she had ya blessin'. Can ya do that fer her?" Seeing the acceptance slowly dawn in Brian's eyes Sully was satisfied that he had got his point across.

"Sure Ma, I'll just miss ya that's all. You'll come back soon…promise?"

Holding Brian securely in her embrace Michaela said, "Oh Brian we'll miss you as well and I promise that we'll be back before you know it. Thank you sweetheart for understanding. I love you."

"I love you too Ma."

Relief suddenly flushed through the faces of all the children at the realisation that this time they were going home for good. Realising that if they didn't make tracks towards the train station soon they wouldn't be going anywhere today Dorothy said, "Ok let's get going then and get our tickets sorted out then we can rest a little."

They all shouted, "You've got it Miss Dorothy!"

With that Brian leapt off his Ma's lap and raced ahead with Colleen, Dorothy hot on their heels asking them to slow down.

Turning to Sully Matthew asked, "Are you coming Sully?"

"Not right now Matthew but we'll be along to see you off, don't worry."

Accepting that Sully probably needed to talk to Cloud Dancing alone he took his Ma's arm and walked at a gentle pace off towards the station. Which if the truth were known was actually only a fifteen-minute walk away.

Once Cloud Dancing had ensured that Michaela and Matthew were out of earshot he turned to Sully and said, "It is good to have you back but something is troubling you?"

"I'm fine Cloud Dancing. Something is troubling Dr Mike though. I need ta talk and I need ya help."

"I have sensed this turmoil my brother. What can I do to help? "

"I need to take her away. But I need ta go somewhere new. Somewhere safe. Somewhere neutral."

"The spirits have told me this already but I needed to hear it from you. If you will trust me then I know a place."

"I trust you, you know that, and Dr Mike will as well. When do we leave?"

"At sunrise tomorrow if you will be rested enough by then?"

"We'll be ready."

Glancing across at the town square clock Sully realised that if they were going to have any family time, as Colleen had asked for, before the children went home, they had better hurry. So, leaving a tip for the waiter, they took their leave and walked briskly towards the station.

When they arrived and had chuckled to themselves at the stares and the _well have you ever's _that always seemed to ripple through the crowds of big, fashionable cities whenever Sully and Cloud Dancing arrived in their frontier wear.

Spying the group that they were looking for off in the distance Sully and Cloud Dancing set off towards them.

Seeing Sully approach, Michaela turned to him and said, "Oh good, you made it. Everyone is booked onto tonight's train and stage coach at Roanoke."

"When does it leave?" was Sully's response.

"In about three or four hours, so we've got time to spend with them as they wanted."

So with their travel arrangements set they all departed from the station to walk the short distance to the park that Colleen had spotted earlier. The children, well that is Brian and Colleen to be exact, were chattering excitedly about going home and telling their friends of all that had happened. Matthew was walking quietly alongside his mother lost in his own thoughts. Dorothy, Sully, and Cloud Dancing followed along behind.

Once they reached the entrance to the park Brian turned towards his mother and spoke, while catching his breath, from his constant chattering, "Ma is it alright if we go off and play for a bit?"

Smiling at the ever-present energy that her son exhibited Michaela nodded and just gave a soft, "Be careful" as a motherly warning. However before she had finished speaking he was gone. Asking Colleen to watch over her brother Michaela found a bench to sit on with Dorothy and just allowed herself to relax and enjoy the sounds of the Potomac river running by and the birds in the trees.

As Michaela sat there she could hear the laughter of her children as they frolicked in Monument Park, and she could detect hushed tones behind her. Opening her weary eyes to see who was whispering, she discovered that it was Sully talking to Matthew. Discerning that it was a man-to-man talk Michaela left them to it. Turning her gaze towards Dorothy who sat across from her, Michaela suggested without the need for words that they take a stroll along the riverbank.

Watching the ladies walk the short distance to the riverbank gave Sully an opportunity to continue his discussion with Matthew. Turning back to the young man, whom Sully thought of as his son, Sully gestured to him to sit on the vacated bench. Nodding his head in agreement the two men in Michaela's life sat and wondered where to begin.

Deciding that perhaps the best approach was to start with what happened at lunch Sully turned so he was facing Matthew and said "Did ya hear what ya Ma and Brian said at lunch?"

"Yeah I heard. I understand that ya need some time 'fore ya go home and that's ok by me Sully."

Relieved that it appeared that he didn't have to explain himself to Matthew, Sully said "Thanks, that means a lot." Gathering his thoughts before continuing Sully drew a deep breath and carried on "Matthew have you and Colleen talked 'bout what happened?"

Looking directly at Sully Matthew tersely replied, "Sure we talked, it was hard not ta when Ma was goin' through hell."

Momentarily stung by Matthew's tone Sully decided not to rise to the anger that was boiling in Matthew's features, instead he got up and turned his back on the young man. Focusing on Cloud Dancing who had remained at his side throughout, Sully replied, "I'm sorry Matthew for everythin'. It's important fer me ta know that ya feel able ta talk 'bout what happened." Returning his gaze to Matthew Sully anxiously awaited his reply.

"I know that Sully but it won't be yet…not 'til Ma's better and we're all home and safe." Knowing that was all he was likely to get from Matthew Sully nodded in a resigned agreement and gestured that they should join the ladies who were now sat under an oak with two very out of breath children.

Just as the clock in the town square rung out four O'clock Michaela looked up to see Sully, Matthew and Cloud Dancing approaching. She knew that this signified more than the end of their discussion. It meant that it was time to walk down to the train station and say goodbye to her children.

Knowing that sitting in the park wasn't going to put of the inevitable events that were to follow, that of the children leaving and her impending talk with Sully. Michaela turned to Dorothy and said quietly and half-heartedly, "We'd better be making our way to the station." With that she stood up, rather stiffly, and called the children as she began to join Sully, Cloud Dancing and Matthew.

Before to long they were back on the main street and walking briskly towards the entrance of the train station. Although Michaela, and Sully to some extent, didn't really want to say goodbye to the children, they both knew that it was imperative that they have some time alone.

Upon finding the right platform and with tears in her eyes and her voice breaking Michaela told the children that she loved them all dearly and would miss them terribly. With the same responses from Matthew, Colleen and Brian they boarded the train and waited for Dorothy.

Michaela gently grasped Dorothy's arm and walked with her a little way from the train.

"Look after them for me. I'll send word when I can but I don't know when that will be. Please explain to Jake and tell him that I am sorry."

"Now don't you go worrying over the children or the town. After what you've been through you need to relax and talk to Sully." Saying the last with a note of determination in her voice Dorothy grasped her friend's shoulders and leaning forward as if to kiss her cheek whispered in her ear, "It'll be alright, you see, it'll be just fine."

With a slight nod of her head Michaela ushered Dorothy onto the train and with tears streaming down her cheeks she said farewell to her children. With Sully's reassuring hand on her shoulder she wiped her face and put on a brave smile for Brian's sake. Waving furiously until the train had long since disappeared into the landscape Michaela just stood there as if frozen in the moment.

Realising that Michaela hadn't moved or said anything since saying goodbye to the children Sully gently took her hand in his and said, "Ya ready to go? We need ta find somewhere ta stay tonight."

Knowing that she was being observed by Cloud Dancing Michaela made the effort of saying, "Yes I am ready, but where are we going tomorrow?"

Expecting the question Sully had already prepared an answer hoping it would suffice but he would soon know as he said, "You don't need ta worry bout that. Cloud Dancing's goin to take us on a trip, you'll enjoy it I promise."

Michaela trusted her mentor implicitly. However, her trust in Sully had been tested so her initial reaction was to object. She really was too tired to debate the matter with Sully, so she let her trust in Cloud Dancing win. With a simple "ok," the matter was settled.

Sully was once again surprised by the ease of which he seemed to be getting what he wanted. There was no doubt in his mind at all that Michaela was worn out and had suffered as much as he had. This suffering had to be rectified however the actual course of events that he hoped would lead to a reaffirmation of their love was not as clear. He just had to trust that Cloud Dancing knew where they were going and what would happen when they arrived.

Cloud Dancing had been constantly observing his friend with growing concern. He had never known Michaela to be so defeated in body and spirit. He truly hoped that Sully, his brother, was going to be strong enough to handle the release of Michaela's emotions once they arrived at the healing ground.

Acknowledging the fact that all three of them had to find accommodation for tonight Sully took hold of Michaela's hand and led her out of the station and towards the boarding house that they had used when they first arrived.

As they approached the main desk Michaela wanted to get settled and be on her own as quickly as possible so she made short work of finding three rooms, all on the same floor. She gave Sully and Cloud Dancing their keys and quickly excused herself.

Sully and Cloud Dancing were left standing in the middle of the reception area completely dumbstruck at Michaela's sudden exit. Not wanting to cause a scene they followed Michaela's example, although not understanding why, and retired to their own rooms agreeing to meet at seven O' Clock for supper.

Sully's room was next to Michaela's and he could hear her pacing and then it all went silent. He initially thought that she had fallen asleep but then it came. The most gut wrenching sound that he thought that he had ever heard.

She was crying! No more than that she was nearly hysterical, he could hear the power of the sobs as they came through the thin walls that separated their rooms.

He was unsure what to do. Part of him wanted to run and take her in his arms and take all the pain away but part of him suspected that she needed, maybe even wanted to do this alone.

It was evident that she had been through far more than he was aware of; maybe she would never tell him everything but for now they had to get some rest before the healing could truly begin.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath Sully braced himself for the unknown as he tentatively walked into the corridor and tapped on Michaela's door. Not hearing any response verbal or otherwise he tried again, this time accompanying the knocking with "Michaela? You ok?"

Still nothing. Sully was beginning to get worried so he decided to try the door hoping it was going to be unlocked. It was, oh sweet relief.

When he entered he discovered Michaela lying curled up on the bed, looking for the entire world like she was asleep. But Sully knew her better than that. She was trying to ignore his presence and failing miserably.

Slowly walking over towards the edge of the bed Sully gently sat down and lovingly placed a hand on her arm and began to sooth her by stoking her arm all the time whispering words of reassurance and love until he felt her relax and she began to turn to face him.

Her face was red from crying and her beautiful eyes were swollen but Sully still thought that she was the most beautiful creature that he had ever seen.

"It's ok ya know, ya don't got ta be afraid any more. It's over now."

Michaela wasn't sure how he seemed to instinctively know what she had been thinking but he was scarily near the truth.

Not able to put a voice to her concerns and feelings yet all Michaela could do was reach for Sully's comforting arms that were inviting her into a loving, reassuring embrace.

There would be time for words later but now was a time for a reunion of sorts. As the gentle caresses turned to more sensual touches and the kisses began for the time being all of their worries were forgotten as the reassurance that only love can bring lit up Michaela's room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the train chugged along the dusty tracks the children sat staring blankly at the unchanging scenery.

Turning towards Dorothy Colleen said, "Why couldn't we stay? It just don't seem fair that we came all this way back for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing Colleen, you children showed Michaela just how much you love her and Sully by coming back and being there for her. I know that you would've liked to have stayed longer but your Ma and Sully need time alone, time together that they just can't get in Colorado Springs."

Nodding in understanding Colleen said, "I know Miss Dorothy. Do you think they'll be ok?"

"Yes I think they'll be fine. Cloud Dancing's with them. They will be fine and home before you know it." Saying the last almost in an effort to reassure herself more than Colleen, Dorothy sighed and said, "Try and get some rest we've got a long journey ahead of us."

Acknowledging all of what Dorothy had said and realising the fact that they had indeed got a very long journey she simply said "Thanks Miss Dorothy, for everything." With that Colleen placed her book down, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Dorothy sat there quietly, thinking of all that had befell her dear friend. She dearly hoped that their time alone together would be able to mend the broken trust that she suspected lay at the heart of Michaela's withdrawn behaviour. Knowing that there was nothing that could be done by her she too drifted off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Sully felt himself beginning to react to the overly passionate Michaela that lay before him he allowed himself to momentarily think about the amazing wedding night that they had to look forward to.

It seemed to Sully that this side of Michaela was a rare one indeed. She was normally reserved and incredibly unsure of her sensuality and why he found her so amazing baffled her. But now, after all of this torment she was allowing herself to go further and be freer than she ever had before and Sully was reluctant to stop her. But he knew that they had to break apart or things may get out of control extremely quickly. Forcing himself to pull back and look into her eyes he brought a hand up to her cheek and said softly, "It's ok to feel ya know, ya don't got ta be ashamed. That was beautiful just like ya are."

Amazed that once again Sully had read her thoughts Michaela looked away shyly and said almost in a whisper "You aren't cross with me? That I made you stop?"

Stunned by the question but slightly amused at the same time Sully said "Cross? Why would I be cross? Ya allowed yaself to give, fully for the first time and I will treasure that. I would've stopped anyway ya know that I wouldn't have caused ya to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I love ya."

Sealing the last with a simple kiss almost as an exclamation point to what he had just said Sully got up to give them some space. He feared that if he stayed the heat in the room would be too consuming for him to cope with.

Realising what Sully had done and loving him all the more for it Michaela smiled her special smile at him and said "We had better get some rest before supper, don't you think?"

"I guess, we've got 'bout four hours or so till we meet Cloud Dancing. You've got time for some sleep."

"That is a good idea, I really am feeling tired now. Be sure to wake me in time?"

"Of course I will. Now close ya eyes and dream happy dreams."

Giving her one last quick kiss Sully exited the room and went back into his in an effort to try and get some sleep himself.

Both lay on their own beds, thinking the same thoughts, although neither knew. These thoughts were not about how lucky they were, nor were they about how much they loved each other. They centred on destructive emotions of distrust and lies.

It seemed to both Sully and Michaela that their quick ten-minute tryst had just accentuated the despair that they had been feeling instead of reducing the doubts and confusion that they felt. As they drifted off to sleep the dreams that should have been happy and relaxed were replaced by dreams filled with pain and anguish.

A knocking at his door waked Sully. Having trouble coming out of his sleep state Sully looked more than a little confused when he opened the door to find Cloud Dancing on the other side. "A-ho my brother I see you slept well."

"A-ho Cloud Dancing, come in. I slept some but I wouldn't say well. Dr Mike isn't awake yet but we'd better make sure she's up soon."

"Yes. Do you want to wake her?"

Although Cloud Dancing said the last with a slight grin on his face, knowing that Sully would like nothing more than to wake his fiancée with a kiss, he was more than a little concerned that the normally unstoppable Dr Mike seemed extremely tired and very subdued. He vowed to himself to pay close attention to her as they ate supper.

The sound of Sully's voice brought Cloud Dancing back to the present. "I guess I should although she had a rough time earlier, I'm tempted to let her sleep."

"Tell me more."

"She was just real upset then real passionate as if she didn't really know how to feel or react."

"Hmm, this is not unexpected to me but I suspect it may be to you."

Confused by his friend's riddles Sully looked at him and asked, "What do ya mean it ain't unexpected?"

"My brother has Dr Mike said anything to you about this trial? Has she said anything at all since we arrived?"

Thinking about what he had just heard Sully realised that his mentor and friend was right. Michaela had hardly said anything since they had left the White House. And what she had said was more as a matter of course rather than out of longing.

Seeing Sully taking heed of what he had just said but needing to finish before Sully woke Dr Mike, Cloud Dancing continued by saying "She is confused, scared, and feels alone."

"How do I help her?"

Not surprised by his brother's intuitive question Cloud Dancing replied, "You already know how but you have to be strong, she needs you to be strong."

Knowing that Cloud Dancing was right and Sully did in fact know how to help Michaela reassured him that all was not as bleak as it may have seemed earlier. Deciding that they really had to get something to eat and soon Sully walked towards the door and gestured to Cloud Dancing to follow.

Once outside Sully asked Cloud Dancing to wait in the café area downstairs while he woke Michaela. Nodding his agreement they separated to fulfil their jobs.

Knocking softly on Michaela's door Sully waited for a reply. Hearing her move from the bed and walk towards the door filled Sully with hope. She was at least willing to open the door and potentially join them for something to eat.

Opening the door only enough to see who it was Michaela was hoping that it would be Cloud Dancing as she really didn't want to face Sully yet. But to her disappointment it was Sully.

Sully could tell that she had been crying again and he suspected that she had probably only got an hour's sleep, if any at all, due to the dark circles under her eyes. Sully also noticed the reticence with which she opened the door. Why didn't she want to see him? What was wrong with her? Wasn't she pleased that it was over? These questions and more were screaming through Sully's head and they would all have to be addressed later.

However for now he had to convince her to get ready and come with him. Approaching her cautiously he began "Hi, did ya manage ta get any sleep?"

Appreciating the neutrality of Sully's opening question mad Michaela smile slightly and she responded by saying, "Yes a little."

Relieved that she had had a little rest Sully approached the next question with more confidence "Are ya goin' to come and have some food with us? We've got a long day tomorrow."

"Let me just clean up and I'll meet you down there."

Realising that was all he was going to get by way of a positive response Sully nodded and left her to get ready.

As soon as the door closed and she heard Sully walk down the hallway Michaela breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back against the door wondering what she was going to do.

Trying to compose herself and still her rapid breathing she made the decision that there was no point in hiding. Whatever Cloud Dancing and Sully had planned for tomorrow was clearly important. Pulling herself together slowly Michaela splashed some cold water on her face and ran a brush through her hair and left to locate Sully and Cloud Dancing.

Seeing them seated at a small table she put on her best smile, although she knew that Sully would see right through it and approached them carefully.

"Sully, Cloud Dancing have you been here long?" Knowing full well that Michaela knew how long they had been down here Sully worked out that she was trying to not let on how distraught she was. Sensing that provoking a deeper conversation would not be a good idea at this precise moment Sully responded by saying, "Evenin' Dr Mike, no we've just got here. Here let me help ya sit."

Pulling the chair out for her gave Sully the opportunity to look into her eyes; what he saw scared him to the bone. There was no fire, no passion. No emotion at all. He didn't even know if there was love displayed in them. Briefly allowing his mind to wander he once again thought about all that he had been through and why. Having secured his release and pardon Michaela seemed to still be living the whole ordeal.

None of it made sense to Sully who wasn't one to dwell on the past or on solved problems. He was one for the here and now. That meant Michaela. Why wouldn't she talk to him, it was normally the other way around but this time she had been the one to isolate her feelings and shut her thoughts so far away that he couldn't read them. Her continued silence was deeply concerning to Sully, he desperately wanted to reach out and hold her, reassure her, take away all her insecurities and fears. For some reason she wasn't reaching out to him with her eyes, her mind, her soul.

It seemed to Sully that she was trying to spare him any more pain and anguish. Almost smiling to himself, it occurred to Sully that he shouldn't be surprised by this behaviour. It was after all so typical of Michaela to put everyone else's needs before her own. However in the here and now Sully knew that something was different but this time he wasn't going to allow her to do it and make herself unhappy in the process.

After all it was his stupidity that had caused this in the first place. It should be him that was shutting himself away not her, not his heartsong. This closed door, as he was beginning to think of it was just another reminder of his failings, his unworthiness. The more he thought the more he realised that there actually was only one course of action to be taken.

Going over the plan that he had previously dismissed, he sadly knew that was the one he had to go with but more over he knew for certain that Michaela wasn't going to like it. But it had to be done. She didn't deserve him. However he realised that nothing could be done now he would have to be patient and wait a little while longer until they reached Cloud Dancing's chosen location.

Feeling a hand on his back brought Sully into the present with a jolt, looking up he saw Cloud Dancing trying to attract his attention without being too obvious. "Sorry I guess I got distracted. What was it Cloud Dancing?"

"I believe Dr Mike's chair is pushed in far enough however we need to order, do we not, if we are to eat tonight?"

"Sure, sorry."

Beckoning to the waiter Sully requested a jug of water and three plates of stew and biscuits.

With a simple "Yes sir, right away." The waiter left to fill his order, leaving the three friends to their own thoughts once again.

Cloud Dancing again started to study the faces of his protégée and brother seeing anguish displayed in both but what concerned him more was the overwhelming sense of loss radiating from Michaela. There never had been any doubt in his mind since he had first observed her at the train station that she was confused and alone but witnessing this lost soul when there were no other distractions was deeply concerning to Cloud Dancing. He knew that if they didn't find their way back to each other when they were alone then the Spirits would not rest.

Noticing the waiter beginning to return forced Cloud Dancing to return to the present. As the waiter placed the three bowls of steaming stew down on the table there was a moment when Cloud Dancing wondered if Michaela and Sully had noticed, but much to his relief Sully looked up and acknowledged the waiter with a nod and a simple "Thanks."

Looking at the food that had been set in front of her made Michaela reach, she really had no appetite at all and the smell was almost too much for her to bear. Knowing that neither Sully nor Cloud Dancing would rest until they saw her eat she tentatively picked up the spoon and began to eat as best she could. It was almost as if she felt that if she ate then it would be one step closer to getting away from Washington and all it held and for that she couldn't wait.

Glancing across the table at Michaela, Sully had seen her struggle when the food was brought out but he had also witnessed a little of her famous determination show when she had started to eat. This filled him with a little glimmer of hope; maybe all was not lost, maybe given time things would work themselves out. However he suspected that the only reason she was eating now was to avoid a repetition of the café scene earlier when he almost had to force-feed her. This realisation made this small amount of hope dwindle away and reminded Sully once again that he had done this to her and she deserved more.

As the clock in the foyer chimed eight in the evening a small yawn escaped from Michaela and she tried in vain to hide it, it must have been nearly twenty hours since she last had any sleep and for Sully it was probably nearly two days. Yes the catnap earlier had taken the edge of her exhaustion but now she was feeling it come flooding back like the weight of a steam train.

Knowing what a long day Cloud Dancing had planned Michaela excused herself and made her way back to her room, and her bed.

Following the example set by Michaela Sully paid for their meal and followed suit. Walking up the corridor to their rooms Sully said goodnight to his brother, shut the door on the outside world and collapsed into a nice warm soft bed and willed sleep to come easily.

After a night filled with tossing and turning and nightmares both Sully and Michaela wondered how they were going to have the strength that would be needed to endure the upcoming days travelling.

However, neither had much time to find an answer as Cloud Dancing motioned for them to leave Washington and to begin the first leg of their journey into the unknown.

**The End or is it**

If you want to see what happened next then read on in Part 3 – The Reaffirmation 


	3. Part 3:The Reaffirmation

**Author's Note **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

This story takes place during and after "A Washington Affair" and picks up exactly where "**The Letter – Part 2: Resolutions**" finished.

**Warning**: Towards the end of the story there is a slightly explicit love scene between two un-married, yet consenting adults who are very much in love. If this bothers you then I would advise you not to read it.

**The Letter**

**Part 3 – The Reaffirmation**

**By Rachel**

The travelling to this point had been arduous to say the least and all were beginning to feel a distinct lack of energy as they approached their final destination, the Grand Canyon.

Sully's heart was still heavy as his thoughts turned to the arrest, court martial, death sentence and escape. He knew that there was no running away now, Cloud Dancing had brought them here for a reason and that reason was for him to face up to his past and what that had nearly cost in his future, Michaela.

Michaela on the other hand was beginning to feel a little more like her fiery self. She had talked to Sully at length about the letter and the plan that Parker had come up with, the fact that she wanted the children to be safe but more than that she wanted him to be safe. Michaela knew that there was still a long way to go as they had to face the actual events that had resulted in them being here, but she now felt able to face that with a new determination that had been almost absent since Sully's release.

Cloud Dancing motioned for them to halt as they approached the entrance to their retreat. Turning to see the reactions on their faces, Cloud Dancing wasn't disappointed.

Michaela couldn't think of the words to describe what she was looking at and Sully had never seen anything like it in his life.

What stood before them was the most awe-inspiring sight that either had seen. The sheer size of the cliffs alone was something that Sully thought he would only witness from heaven, the colours really were far beyond the normal spectrum.

Needing to verbalise what she was feeling, Michaela said, "Oh Cloud Dancing this is the most magnificent, amazingly glorious sight that I have ever had the privilege of seeing. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I will always treasure this."

Cloud Dancing turned to take her hand and could see tears cascading down her cheeks, but these weren't tears of pain or heartbreak they were the first tears of joy he had seen from her in a long time and he felt truly blessed that he had been able to show her that not everything in life was bleak.

Sully, although still stunned by what he saw also thanked his brother by saying, "Cloud Dancing thank you for trusting us enough to share your vision quest sight it really is breath taking and I will always remember it."

Touched by Sully's words, Cloud Dancing reached out in the familiar gesture of friendship that these two shared and said "My brother, my friend it is I who is honoured that I can now share this sacred place with two of my most special friends. Come we must continue for the sun will be setting soon and we must make camp."

Taking his lead Sully and Michaela followed respectfully still a little blown away at where Cloud Dancing had brought them.

All the while Sully was deep in thought, he realised that not only was this a place of healing, but for Cloud Dancing, it was a place of rejuvenation, almost like Sully's mountain back home. It occurred to Sully that he now had to keep the honour and respect that this place held for his brother, and in doing that he had to be true to himself.

Throughout their journey into the Grand Canyon, Michaela just couldn't concentrate on where her horse was going. She was just so dumbstruck at what she was seeing that it was still beyond both mental and emotional comprehension. She wondered what their time here would hold.

When they reached the desired campsite, Cloud Dancing held up his hand in a signal to stop and dismount. Doing as they were bid, Michaela and Sully got off loosely tied their mounts and went about their usual tasks to make the campsite cosy and habitable for their duration.

_Sully and Cloud Dancing went about getting some food for their first dinner, while Michaela set up an area for the fire and bedrolls. As she worked, her thoughts turned to the many times that she and Sully had slept under the stars. There was the time when Brian ran away and they had to share a tepee in the rain. Chuckling to herself at the whole situation and their reactions, it amazed her how far they had come in a little over two years. _

Then there was the cattle drive and all of the adventures that it had contained. First there was the rogue cowhand Jesse, then there was the birthing, next was of course the prairie fire. However, all of those memories faded into the ether when she thought about that kiss. Oh how wonderful that had been and if it hadn't been for Matthew's rather untimely interruption, she didn't even want to think where they may have ended up.

There was no doubt that she had certainly come a long way and she suspected that if her mother could see her now or even hear her thoughts then she would have a heart attack. After all proper Boston bred ladies do not sleep on the ground under the elements let alone enjoy the experience. And yes, she certainly enjoyed the sight of the stars on a cloudless night, but she knew that she wouldn't be looking at the stars tonight. No, tonight she would be contemplating how she and Sully were going to get over all of this.

Seeing that all of her tasks were complete gave her a sense of pride as she awaited the return of the hunters. Not having to wait long, Michaela saw Sully carrying a pole full of fish while Cloud Dancing had managed to get some form of game which would do for tomorrow's meal.

Pleased at what he saw when he approached the campsite, Sully took one of Michaela's hands and gave it a gentle squeeze and said "You are almost as good as me at setting this up now."

Appreciating the rare complement, Michaela smiled and said "Thank you but I still can't fish or trap game."

"You'll get there eventually, now how about we get this fish going before it gets too late, huh?"

"Good idea." Replied Cloud Dancing who had been witnessing this gentle jibing between his friends. He was mildly relieved that some of the ever present tension had gone at least for the moment, doubting it would last he decided to enjoy it while it was there.

Taking the fish from Sully he said, "You put some coffee on and settle and I will prepare dinner." And before they could argue he had gone leaving Michaela and Sully alone.

Not quite sure what the conversation should be, but acknowledging that they should be talking, Michaela started by saying "Did you know that we were coming here?"

"Nah I just trusted Cloud Dancing like ya did, but I'm pleased that he brought us here. It shows how much he respects us that he wants to share his special place with us."

Nodding in recognition of this fact Michaela replied, "Yes it does and I will not forget this…." With her voice faltering at the end she was forced to look down.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that."

Turning away as she spoke, almost out of embarrassment, Michaela continued in a voice so soft that Sully had to strain to hear, "I used to think so but I'm not sure any more."

Glancing across at Sully and making eye contact for the first time in so long, Michaela realised that Sully was waiting for her to finish. It was clear from her hesitancy and body language that she was having problems doing so which caused Sully to wonder what it was that she had to say to him. Deciding the best tack was just to sit quietly and wait until she was ready to continue, Sully turned his gaze skywards and he then heard it again so soft that he had to strain to hear. It was the question he had been dreading, "Do you think this place will help us Sully. Do you want it to help?"

Pausing slightly before answering, Sully chose his words with care, "I don't know Michaela and that's the truth….I guess a lot of that depends on us and if we allow the peace to help."

Turning to take Michaela's hands in his so he could say the last looking directly in her eyes he continued, "As for if I want it to work that is tougher to answer. I guess only time will tell, but I don't know enough to give you a proper answer."

Michaela appreciated the honesty that Sully had spoken, but she couldn't reply. Instead, she got up and walked away. Walking away from the fire, the warmth, the security and the reassurance that was emanating from it. Walking away from Sully at the same time, she needed to be alone to think and to work out her own answer to the question.

Initially Sully was confused by her actions and reached out to stop her, but looking at her now, Sully could tell that she was having problems finding her own answer. Accepting that she needed time to think, he left her but kept an eye on her just to be sure.

Cloud Dancing had been watching this scene playing out before him while he cleaned the fish for supper. He was pleased that they were at least talking, although what about he wasn't sure. However, what he was witnessing now was not so good, but he thought to himself that it was actually fairly accurate for the state of play in their actual relationship. His brother was on his own by the fire looking at the stars and surreptitiously checking that his heartsong was safe. Meanwhile, Michaela was sitting in the dark and cold, crying he suspected, alone trying to work through her turmoil.

Beginning to despair of his brother, Cloud Dancing thought aloud, _"When are these two going to realise that they can't solve things apart. They are soul mates, part of the same being. They need and want to be together but are constantly fighting it like now."_ Cloud Dancing really hoped that once he left them the power of this place and their own love would heal all the troubles.

Walking the short distance back to the fire, he uttered a prayer to the spirits asking for their wisdom and guidance over the next few days.

Needing to check on Michaela, Sully walked softly, so as not to frighten her, and carefully approached her. But when he knelt down to look at her face, he was surprised to see that although she had been crying, she was asleep and freezing cold.

Gently lifting her into his arms like he had done on countless other occasions, he took her to the fire and laid her down on one of the bedrolls. She didn't stir at all and both Sully and Cloud Dancing knew that she was exhausted, so they decided to let her sleep through the night.

Cloud Dancing put the fish on and sat playing his flute while Sully began to whittle at a piece of wood while they waited for the supper to be ready.

Both were deep in thoughts and were contemplating their own paths over the next few days. For Sully it was going to be a time of facing up to what he had done and what he was going to do.

For Cloud Dancing, it was a time of growth and reflection as he allowed his brother the freedom that he needed to heal.

As they heard the spluttering sounds from the fish that signalled that it was ready. Sully also felt something stir. Glancing to his left, he realised it was Michaela. She was awake.

Still confused from the sleep world Michaela groggily said, "Sully?"

Smiling at the beautiful sound of her voice, even when it was heavily coated by sleep, Sully responded by saying, "I'm here, ya fell asleep bout an hour ago. We're just bout ta eat, ya want some?"

Realising how hungry she was, Michaela nodded and said, "Hmm that would be nice thank you." With that said they all tucked into fish and hot steaming coffee while being continually amazed at this majestic canyon.

After all the clearing up had been done, Cloud Dancing suggested that they all turn in as it had been a long and tiring ride, and he for one was exhausted. With consensual nods from all concerned, Sully doused the fire and took his place next to Michaela's bedroll laying back to take a better look at the starlit canopy above them.

It truly was a remarkable sight and he didn't really want to close his eyes for fear that he should wake up and discover that it was all a dream. Oh how he wished that this entire affair had been a dream, but in reality it had been more like a nightmare that no one seemed to be waking up from.

Glancing across at Michaela who was sleeping soundly next to him, he was reminded why he had come to Washington in the first place. It was because of his love for her that he had joined in the challenge of attempting to change the names of the Indian Agents and therefore the plight of the Cheyenne Nation.

Acknowledging that this had been successful was small praise when it came to the rest of their trip. What should have then been a pleasurable experience taking in the sights of the nation's capitol, had resulted in a far from pleasurable time. In fact he couldn't remember a more horrible time. He had witnessed the heart-rending screams for Michaela as he was dragged away from her and their children. He had been forced to endure humiliation at the hands of the prison guards and then the sight of the tears streaming down Michaela's cheeks as she declared her love for him when they led her away.

He shook himself willing the memory to disappear. However, accepting that it probably wouldn't, he turned over, closed his eyes and let sleep claim him as it had his brother.

A strange moaning had awoken Sully. He had the feeling that he had only been asleep for a matter of hours and at first couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. Cloud Dancing had also heard it and reacted by drawing his knife. Raising cautiously and scanning the camp for intruders and finding none, he went back to his bedroll and shrugged towards an annoyed Sully. It was only then that both realised that the moaning had not stopped but had actually intensified. Sully was the first to locate the source of the noise…Michaela. She was tossing and turning having what they presumed to be a horrific nightmare. Not wanting to startle her, Sully knelt down carefully and gently stroked her arm continually calling to her softly and reassuringly.

Gradually calming down, Michaela finally opened her eyes and immediately reached for Sully's loving embrace, she was shaking uncontrollably and crying hysterically.

With Sully rubbing her back as you would a child and softly cooing in her ear, Michaela gradually began to relax, taking a breath she said "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"Yep, but I didn't mind. Do ya wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know where to begin, it was horrible." Kissing the top of her head, Sully continued to rub her back comfortingly and said, "Just take ya time we've got all night."

"There really was only one thing…you were dead," Having spoken what she had dreamed and re-lived for so long, Michaela clung on to Sully for all she was worth, really not believing that he was here, with her, alive and well.

Knowing that Michaela needed some kind of response other than physical comfort, Sully really didn't know what to say, but he had to say something. Glancing across at his mentor for some kind of message and receiving a nod, as Cloud Dancing looked away to provide them some privacy, Sully said "Michaela look at me."

Waiting until she looked up before continuing, Sully used the time to think of a suitable reply.

When Michaela's grip on Sully's shirt slackened slightly, and as she slowly looked up into his amazingly clear blue eyes. Seeing that he finally had her attention, Sully continued gently in a voice so soft that it was for her ears only, "What you dreamt is understandable so don't worry."

Embarrassed at her behaviour but reassured once again by Sully's words, Michaela replied, "I'm sorry it's just that I felt so foolish having to be comforted like a child."

Knowing that it was normally impossible for Michaela to ask for help in any circumstance, Sully wasn't surprised at her reaction, with a smile he said, "Hey that's what I'm here for remember. Now this is goin' to sound weird to ya, but sometimes the Spirits talk to us through our dreams."

"I've heard you say that before Sully. What do we need to do…what do I need to do?"

"Tomorrow Cloud Dancing will be leaving us, but before he goes he'll help me set up a sweat lodge for ya."

Instantly feeling unsure, Michaela asked Sully, "You'll be there won't you?"

"I'll be just outside like you were for me when I was ill. You remember?"

Nodding in recognition of the beautiful memory, Michaela replied, "How could I forget you asked me to marry you and now look at us."

"I know Michaela, but we'll get through this one way or another, but we have to start somewhere and these dreams are the best place to start that I know of. Will ya trust me?"

Seeing a nod as a reply Sully continued, "Ok so we'll start tomorrow then." With another nod Sully kissed her hand and said, "Good, now do ya think ya can go back to sleep?"

"Yes I think so and thank you Sully."

With the last words now spoken, Sully kissed the top of her head and bid her a fond goodnight leaving to talk to Cloud Dancing.

"Is she alright?" Was Cloud Dancing's first statement having observed the loving exchange that had taken place.

"Yes. Or at least she will be I think…that is if I have anything to do about it."

Perplexed by his brother's statement, Cloud Dancing said "That does not sound good. What do you mean?"

"Oh, I don't know Cloud Dancing. I guess with everything that's gone on, I wonder if she would be better off without me. I guess it's just the tiredness talkin'. Don't pay no attention to me, I'll be ok."

With that Sully walked away and back to his bed roll in the attempt to get some more sleep. However, for Cloud Dancing, the signs of despair were all too evident. He was deeply saddened that Sully truly felt that he would be better off alone.

Cloud Dancing looked from Sully to Michaela and then back to Sully and felt a strong sense of Déjà vu. It amazed Cloud Dancing that Sully still hadn't learnt his lesson from before. He was so unbelievably lonely when Abigail had died that there were times when Cloud Dancing didn't know if Sully would survive, but he had. Now he was prepared to put all of that in jeopardy by running away again.

As the first signs of morning arrived, Cloud Dancing knew that it was make or break, but he also knew that both Michaela and Sully had to be left alone to sort this out together. He vowed that he would be within reach should he be needed, but for now they had to prepare Michaela's sweat lodge ceremony. So approaching the still sleeping Sully, Cloud Dancing coughed to make his presence known and said, "Morning my brother. We need to prepare for your heartsong's healing ceremony."

"Mornin' Cloud Dancing, I will explain to Michaela about the preparation."

"Good then I will call on the Spirits. Come and find me when you are ready to begin."

With that he left Sully and went to his vision quest ground to converse with the Spirits and ask their blessing on the ceremony.

Sully watched his brother go with trepidation, anticipation and excitement all rolled into one. He had seen these rituals so many times before; he had taken part in them on countless occasions. Of course the one that leapt into his mind was the most romantic by far, when he proposed to Michaela after fearing, through a vision, that she may vanish from his life forever. That vision scared him to the core at the time, but he had never told Michaela about it. Maybe he would one day.

Forcing his mind back to the present, he had a lot to do before the ceremony could begin at sunset tonight. The first thing he had to do was construct the sweat lodge. Knowing that this wouldn't actually take that long as he had built them so many times before, he allowed himself to have some jerky and coffee before beginning

With the basic construction complete, Sully surveyed his handiwork and smiled softly to himself. Thinking of the next thing he had to do which was waking Michaela, Sully made his way back towards the campsite. Approaching her quietly he said, "Michaela, it's time to wake up." With no response Sully leaned a little closer and gently stroked her cheek and tried again "Come on Michaela it's time that you were up."

"Oh Please let me sleep." Was the first response from a decidedly groggy Michaela as she tried to focus.

"Sorry, but you've got to get up."

"Why?"

Chuckling to himself at the image playing out before him of an almost child like attitude to being woken up, Sully thought better of voicing that, instead he reminded her of what was going to happen, "Cause we've got to get you ready for the sweat lodge at sunset."

Being suddenly reminded of what was to come caught Michaela off guard slightly. Trying to think of a way out of it, Michaela tried to sound convincing when she replied, "Oh, but I feel fine now, do I have to do it?"

Recognising the oh so typical response Sully said, "I know that ya nervous, but that's why I'm here now, ta help ya through it. Okay?"

Knowing that she didn't have to face this all alone, made Michaela feel a little more reassured. So nodding her head slowly, she replied, "Very well. When do we start?"

Stroking her hair, Sully said, "That's my girl. Okay, I'm goin' to need ya ta trust me. Can ya do that after everything?"

Although she wasn't completely sure, Michaela agreed, "Yes, I'll trust you."

Relieved, Sully replied, "Good, now the important thing to remember is not to panic cause that will speed your breathing up and make it harder to breathe."

"Alright. What do I have to do?"

Pleased that she was so eager to learn and understand, Sully was only too pleased to explain what would happen. "It will start at sunset, okay. You can't eat anything before the ceremony begins. Then Cloud Dancing will send a prayer to the Spirits and he'll stay with you until the sweat is under way. Then you'll be left alone to listen to the spirits."

Having never seen one of these ceremonies before from the inside, Michaela was unsure of the proper attire that should be worn. Deciding that the only way to find out if her gut instinct was right, she asked Sully, "Do I need to undress?"

Not really surprised at Michaela's sense of propriety and modesty, Sully chuckled softly and said while he stroked her hand, "Yep, we'll find you a towel or a blanket, but it's better if ya can just loosely cover yourself. Until it starts, you need to stay quiet and think."

Not really wanting to be on her own in this vast wilderness, Michaela sought the reassurance that only Sully could give. Needing to know if he was going to be there, Michaela asked, "Where will you go?"

Before answering, Sully wondered how, after all that had gone on, Michaela could be almost two different people. Here she was unsure, shy, scared and seeking his love and reassurance much like she had been at the hostel in Washington. But then there was the headstrong, outspoken Michaela, which he had certainly seen more of recently, but even this side of her had been quietened down since this affair started. Could this ceremony really hold the answers to what she had endured? He really didn't know, but he felt positive that it would be a step forward and that could only be good, surely.

"Sully?"

"Sorry, I'll be right outside the whole time. Don't worry, I'm not leaving."

Although not totally convinced himself by the last, Sully knew that he had to put his own thoughts and fears aside and help Michaela. There would be time for talking later, but for now they had to prepare for the ceremony. So helping Michaela stand, he walked with her towards the river for a wash.

Cloud Dancing had seen and heard the exchange from his vantage point on the hill over looking the campsite. He was pleased that Sully was able to respectfully tell Michaela about the ceremony and that she was happy to learn and willing to trust. He just hoped that it would help; however there really was no telling what the outcome would be.

When Cloud Dancing arrived back at the campsite, it was to discover that Sully had already erected the basic structure with the help of Michaela.

Giving everything a final check, Cloud Dancing said, "That is good. We will begin when the sun sets. Now you must fast and offer your thoughts to the Spirits for their help."

"Where should I go? Was Michaela's only question.

Cloud Dancing grasped her hand reassuringly and said, "It does not matter, so do not worry. Just be thoughtful and prayerful and you will be fine."

With that, Michaela walked a short distance away from the lodge and found a round boulder to sit on until she was called. Estimating that she probably had the best part of four hours until sunset, her thoughts turned towards the children and her practice as opposed to the impending ceremony and possible revelations.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the train carrying the children and Dorothy rumbled into St Louis station, where they would change for the stagecoach to Colorado Springs, everyone was silent, caught up in their own thoughts.

Brian was the first to speak after what seemed to him like an eternity of silence, "What da you think Ma and Sully are doing now?"

Knowing that the question was going to be asked sometime, but still not formulating an answer, Matthew delayed answering so long, that it was Dorothy who put Brian's mind at ease by saying, "I'm sure that they're thinking of you and Colleen and Matthew. As for what they are doing, well.. I am sure that they are relaxing and having a good time."

Not really convinced by her own answer, Dorothy hoped that Brian would accept it, as the trustworthy, slightly naïve little boy that he was. Hearing no more questions coming, Dorothy assumed that Brian was happy and would be content with that for the rest of the journey home. Glancing across at his older siblings, it was very apparent that they weren't so easily bought by the buttering up of the truth. However Dorothy knew that they would keep their very real concerns away from Brian's ears.

As the conductor came down the carriage shouting, "Everyone off end of the line." The children and Dorothy got up and gathered together all their bags and found the nearest exit.

Just as soon as the train stopped, Brian couldn't wait to get off. No one could blame him really; it had already been nearly two days of no-stop travelling. For a boy as active as Brian it, seemed more like two years. With Matthew shouting at him to watch the tracks and slow down, they all made their way towards the stagecoach office to purchase tickets for the last leg of their journey. The journey home.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As sunset approached, Sully walked over towards Michaela and quietly said, "It's time. Ya ready?" Nodding reluctantly, Michaela replied anxiously, "Ready, as I'll ever be."

Knowing that he had to be strong, but not really feeling it, Sully turned towards her, taking her hands in his, he spoke from the heart, "I know ya scared and nervous, but Cloud Dancing will be there with ya until he thinks that ya ready ta be alone." "I'll be right outside waitin' so ya ain't got a reason ta fret. Ya'll be fine. Trust me."

Although to Sully his words sounded hollow and meaningless, due to his own state of mind and sense of unworthiness, he hoped that Michaela would be reassured by them.

"Thank you Sully. I know that you need help too. I do trust you…I think."

Fearing that was all that he was going to get, at least for now, Sully led her back towards the campsite and the sweat lodge where her healing would begin.

As they approached the lodge, Cloud Dancing greeted Michaela and guided her inside saying, "You will be alright my friend. Do you trust me?"

Nodding gently, Michaela replied, "Yes, I trust you. What do I need to do?"

"You need to undress and wrap this blanket around you."

Seeing the panic begin to come to Michaela's face and knowing how unsure she was about intimacy, Cloud Dancing said, "Do not worry I will leave so you can arrange yourself."

Relieved that she would at least have a little privacy, Michaela said, "I will call you when I am ready."

Leaving Michaela to undress and prepare, Cloud Dancing went outside to wait with his brother. Noting the concern etched on Sully's face, Cloud Dancing softly said, "She will be alright, you do not need to worry."

Amazed, but not really surprised at his mentor's insight Sully replied, "I know."

"Then what troubles you so? Do you not trust the Spirits?"

Sully had a feeling that this was going to be a conversation that took a while and went nowhere fast. However, he answered his brother honestly by saying, "I don't know Cloud Dancing…I'm so confused."

"I believe there is more to this than you have said. Until you talk to Dr Mike, she will not heal and nor will you. This lodge can only show her the way to begin the journey. You know that?"

Nodding in recognition of that fact, Sully's answer was simple, "Yes I know that and I believe she does too."

"Then it is you who needs to finish the journey with her."

Confusion and worry were constantly vying for supremacy in Sully's mind and the reply he gave was once laden with confusion, "How do I do that when I don't know how to start myself?"

"You must trust my brother and be honest. I will leave tomorrow after the ceremony has finished. You need to do this alone."

Knowing that his brother was right, left Sully no other option than to say, "I'll try. Thanks. Yes I know ya're right."

Although Sully knew that what Cloud Dancing had said was true, they did need to be completely alone to heal. The thought scared him more than he was ready to admit. There was so much still left unsaid and he didn't know if he was strong enough to say what needed to be said. He had to be and there was no choice, as he owed it to her and to himself. When the soft voice of Michaela could be heard beckoning Cloud Dancing, Sully knew that the journey had started and the path was bound to be rocky but the destination was still uncertain.

Upon entering the lodge, Cloud Dancing noticed that Michaela had arranged the blanket so as to position herself in a cross-legged fashion while still managing a certain amount of discretion. "You are ready my friend?"

"Yes I am ready to begin."

Lowering himself into the same position as Michaela was, Cloud Dancing started the ritual with the time honoured chants to the Spirits, asking for wisdom, peace and humility. Looking across at Michaela, Cloud Dancing could tell that the strong smells of cedar and sage combined with the heat from the steam were having an effect on her. It was indeed a pungent mixture and although he had witnessed and taken part in hundreds of sweats before, Cloud Dancing somehow felt that he had more responsibility on his shoulders with the healing of his friend and protégée. He never doubted the powers of the Spirits or their wisdom, but he was reminded of the vulnerability of Michaela and he wished with all his heart that he would be able to help her with the first steps on the path to healing. He also knew that this healing would not only help Michaela but also his very lost brother, Sully. Noting that the required temperature had been reached and Michaela seemed to be settled and relaxed, Cloud Dancing's role for now was finished. Leaving the lodge quietly so as not to disturb Michaela, he re-joined Sully for a long night of waiting.

Michaela had heard Cloud Dancing leave and was aware from what Sully had told her earlier that this would happen, so she wasn't disturbed by it, however she didn't really know what to do.

As she continued to sit there in silence, the heat from the steam combined with the aromas from the herbs and spices that Cloud Dancing had wafted through the air, made Michaela begin to feel extremely drowsy. So much so that the next thing she knew, she was collapsing onto the soft bed of furs that had been laid as a floor for the lodge.

Allowing her body to succumb to the exhaustion, Michaela fell into a fitful sleep.

The dreams were not ones filled with thoughts of her family and home, these were more technically known as nightmares. She was re-living the time in the war records office. Or more precisely Michaela was having a vision, and all of the questions she had asked herself then, came flooding back with such power that she felt like she was suffocating.

_What would become of her? What would happen to her….no their children? Would she ever get out of this mess? _

_She had witnessed her beloved Sully being torn away from her right in front of the children. _

_She had witnessed hearing his sentence. No his execution! _

_She had sent her children home, she felt so alone, so afraid and yet, Sully was here, beside her. _

_What was wrong with her? Why was she allowing herself to feel so desperate? _

_They had gotten out of tough situations before, consequently she knew that they would get out of this one and be reunited with the children. _

_She just had to have faith! Faith in God and faith in their love that they could survive this! _

_Michaela sat up abruptly, stunned by the realism of what she had just experienced._

_Taking a few deep breaths, or as deep as she could, Michaela sat there and thought of what she had just seen._

Coming to the conclusion that it wasn't so much what she had seen, more what she had thought, Michaela focussed her mind. Of all of these thoughts that kept charging around in Michaela's head, there was one that was clearer, louder than the rest. That thought she hadn't even voiced at the records office. Thatthought was why Sully didn't trust her enough to tell her what he had done.

All the tears, which had been buried since Sully's arrest, came charging back. Oh, how she longed to be held securely in Sully's arms. But then she suddenly found herself screaming, "Why Sully…Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me?" She could feel herself falling back onto the furs once again, powerless to stop herself, even if she had wanted to, Michaela collapsed.

Outside Sully had heard her screams and had wanted to run headlong into the lodge to help her, but Cloud Dancing had held him back saying, "Let her be my brother, she will be alright."

Knowing that he was right did little to ease Sully's already troubled mind. He never was any good at waiting when a loved one was hurting and this was no exception. Sensing that Michaela was now asleep and therefore the healing ritual was theoretically complete, Sully made himself a bed from the blankets that hadn't been placed in the lodge. He lay down, closed his eyes and tried to sleep although he knew that it would be hard to come by.

As Cloud Dancing sat silently keeping watch over Sully and Michaela, should she need him, he pondered what would happen when he said goodbye in the morning. He had to trust that what the Spirits had told him, about them needing to find their own way alone, was right. He never really doubted the wisdom of the Spirits, but he cared so deeply for his brother and his fiancée that he wanted to protect them as best he could.

Knowing that there was no way out of it as he would have to leave tomorrow regardless of how Michaela had fared in the lodge, Cloud Dancing made himself a pillow out of a spare blanket and settled himself down for the night.

As dawn rose over the sleeping canyon, there were no noises of wolves, birds or coyotes. It was absolutely silent. Almost as if the animals knew what was happening today and were allowing the still slumbering friends some peace to deal with the upcoming events.

Michaela was the first to stir. She tried to sit up, but immediately became aware of the heat, which was still emanating from the smouldering fire inside the lodge. She also felt sick and put that down to lack of food, after all it had been over twenty-four hours since she had last eaten anything. Laying back down Michaela, began to think about what would happen next. Not really sure how the ceremony was meant to end, she decided to just sit quietly and await Cloud Dancing's arrival.

Taking the opportunity to think back over the previous night's events, Michaela came to the conclusion that her reaction in screaming out wasn't only the fact that Sully had kept this from her, although that in itself was bad enough, it was the fact that she nearly lost him altogether. She suddenly stopped mid-thought and realised something very important. Not once had she actually told Sully how she felt, and perhaps more significant she hadn't even asked Sully how he felt about what had happened. Starting to rebuke herself for the blatant lack of compassion that she had shown towards her beloved, Michaela stopped herself by plaintively saying out loud, "How could I? How could I ask how he was, there wasn't time."

Knowing that there was time now, and plenty of it, reassured Michaela. She actually began to feel that it was a good idea of Cloud Dancing's to bring them here. She somehow knew that Cloud Dancing had done it to make them talk alone. For that, she would be forever grateful.

Michaela was brought out of her thoughts when she heard movement outside. Listening to see if she could discern whose voice it was, she was surprised to hear both Sully and Cloud Dancing. She really hadn't expected Sully to be up this early as she assumed that he would have been tossing and turning all night worrying about her.

Returning her attention to the voices outside, Michaela tried to hear what was being said. However, not being able too, Michaela assumed that they were talking about how they had both slept. In addition their conversation was possibly, if not probably, about her and how the healing had gone. Feeling like a spy if the latter was the case, Michaela was relieved when her attention was drawn to the opening of the lodge and she was pleased to see Cloud Dancing enter.

"A-ho my friend. I see that you have slept some. That is good."

"Good morning Cloud Dancing, yes I got a little sleep, thank you." However, feeling the need to move on and face the upcoming discussion with Sully, Michaela asked Cloud Dancing, "What happens now?"

"If you feel ready, then we must thank the Spirits for their help and then the ceremony is over."

"I am ready, what do I need to do?"

Cloud Dancing was pleased at Michaela's willingness to partake in all aspects of the ceremony. He really hadn't expected her too. There weren't many women who would even be prepared to agree to the lodge in the first place, but then there was no doubt in his mind that Michaela was no ordinary woman. He truly didn't think he had ever met a woman with such compassion for everyone, such passion that sometimes you need to rein her in for her own good, and such love that it can light up the whole of Colorado Springs and beyond. He was pleased that in some way his customs had helped her, and consequently Sully, on the right road to start their healing.

Bringing his mind back to the here and now, he approached Michaela taking her hands in his and began chanting a thank you to the Spirits for their gifts and generosity. As he chanted, constantly looking at Michaela, Cloud Dancing was sure that there was a small degree of peace in her. He knew that there was still a long way to go, but he was sure now that Michaela had made peace with her fears and was able to focus on the future. As yet, he didn't know what that future held for either one of his friends, but knowing Sully and Michaela's heart and mind as he did, he knew that they would be able to work through the events of the last few weeks.

Finishing up with a final prayer of guidance, Cloud Dancing addressed Michaela, "It is finished now. Is there anything you wish to discuss before I leave?"

Sensing that Cloud Dancing was referring to the possibility of her having had a vision, Michaela wasn't surprised by the question. However, feeling that she knew what it meant, she replied, "Thank you for the offer Cloud Dancing. I did have what Sully would call a vision, however I am sure that I know what it means. I have to talk to Sully."

"That is fine. You do not have to talk to me. You will be in good hands when you talk to Sully. You now need to get ready to leave the lodge, I will get Sully to bring your clothes for you."

"Thank you."

Cloud Dancing knew that the thank you meant more than just the fact that Michaela could now get dressed. It was a thank you for everything that he had done for her. Patting her hand, Cloud Dancing left to inform Sully that Michaela was fine and was ready to leave the lodge.

Seeing Cloud Dancing exit the lodge, Sully looked up expectantly, and hopefully asked, "Is she alright?"

Amused by Sully's instant concern, Cloud Dancing replied, "Yes my brother Dr. Mike is fine. She is ready to leave the lodge."

Pleased that once again he and Michaela would be together, although a little concerned at the same time due to the knowledge that there was now nothing stopping them from talking, Sully said, "Good, I will gather her clothes and soap. I won't be long."

Seeing the unspoken message in his brother's eyes, Cloud Dancing said, "Very well, I will find some fish for breakfast."

With that, Sully left the warmth of the fire and opened the flap at the entrance to the lodge to find Michaela waiting for him.

"Good morning Sully." Was Michaela's warm welcome upon laying eyes on the love of her life. Although at the moment she wasn't too sure where that love was going, she had to believe that they could talk things out.

"Mornin' Michaela."

With no kiss, Michaela was surprised at the brevity of Sully's greeting. If she was honest, she didn't really know what to expect, or really what she felt, but she had half hoped for a little peck or a cuddle.

Not saying anything, Michaela allowed Sully's questioning eyes to verbalise his concern, "Are you alright?"

Michaela knew that Sully was enquiring after more than her health. Michaela smiled and reached a hand out to stroke his cheek. "Yes I'm fine. I believe the lodge has helped clear my mind a little. However, we must talk today."

Expecting the normal reticent Sully to deny the need to talk, Michaela was surprised when he willingly agreed, "Yep, you're right, we do need ta talk. But first you'd better get dressed." Handing her the clothes, Sully exited and left Michaela to attend to her needs.

Placing her garments down on one of the furs, Michaela reached for the wash cloth and soap that Sully had brought. Slowly dipping the cloth in the cold water that stood at the far end of the lodge, Michaela allowed the ice cold water to drip freely over her naked body. Shivering as the droplets hit her steaming skin, Michaela tingled at the feeling. Gradually becoming accustomed to it, she discovered that it actually felt rather invigorating, almost rejuvenating. Reaching for the towel, Michaela dried herself off and then dressed quickly, so as not to get cold as the intense heat of the lodge was quickly cooling down. Giving herself a final once over, as best she could with no mirror, Michaela exited the lodge, shielding her eyes against the early morning sun and joined her companions at the fire.

"It is good to see some colour in your cheeks Dr Mike."

Smiling at his use of her proper name, Michaela said, "Yes, thank you Cloud Dancing, but I am now very hungry."

Neither Sully nor Cloud Dancing could resist joining Michaela in the laughter that followed her desperate plea for food. It struck Sully that hearing Michaela laugh again was like music to his ears, and laughter was a sound that had most definitely been lacking for far too long.

Handing Michaela a plate of fish and biscuits, Cloud Dancing said, "I must leave after we eat, I have a long journey as do you."

Michaela would have normally been really perplexed by a statement such as that, but she knew, as did Sully, exactly what Cloud Dancing had meant. Before speaking, Michaela glanced across at Sully to see his reaction to his friend leaving. There was no sign of despair, no frustration. In fact he almost looked too calm, too laid back that it worried Michaela. Voicing her concerns, Michaela asked Cloud Dancing "Where will you go?" Not waiting for an answer, but somehow knowing what it was, Michaela continued, "Would you be able to see the children and let them know we are doing well?"

Smiling at his student's perceptiveness, Cloud Dancing replied by saying, "The Spirits told me it is time to go home. I will see the children Dr. Mike, do not worry. They know you are being cared for, but I will tell them for you."

Relieved that at least her children would not fear that they were forgotten, Michaela said a simple, "Thank you." Once again allowing silence to fall over the campsite as they finished their breakfast.

Shortly after Cloud Dancing took Sully aside and said, "I will leave your horses and the bedding. Take care of her; she is still vulnerable. Do not loose sight of what you have or it may be gone forever."

Taking a now baffled Sully into a warm embrace, Cloud Dancing said quietly in his ear, "Trust your heart and it will be alright"

Returning to the campsite they realized that Michaela had already cleaned and packed everything away and was waiting for their return. As they approached, Sully noticed the apprehension begin to come back over Michaela's face. Not being able to stop his own fears from growing, he was able to offer no reassurance.

Noting the change in his friends' demeanour, Cloud Dancing decided not to delay his departure. He knew how important this time would be to both of them, and he also knew that if they started to doubt him leaving, they would never find the lost trust. Giving Sully a final embrace and kissing Michaela lightly on her cheek, Cloud Dancing sprung up onto his horse and cantered away without a backward glance leaving Sully and Michaela staring of after him.

Sully released the breath that he didn't know he had been holding and turned to look at Michaela. At that moment what he could see, reminded him of a five year old who was just starting school for the first day. Michaela stood there trembling and close to tears. She looked scared, nervous and incredibly unsure of what the next few days would hold. He didn't feel that her actions were due to being alone with him; it was more likely that she was just apprehensive of their impending talk. Reaching his hand up to stroke her cheek, Sully realised the parallel with his own feelings, and knew that they still had a very long journey ahead.

Feeling the need to actually do something pro-active rather than just stare off into the dust, Sully turned and headed back towards the campsite.

A stunned Michaela followed him and said, "What are you doing?"

Without stopping to look at her, Sully replied, "We need to break camp if we're gonna move further into the Canyon."

Knowing that this was all part of Sully's coping mechanism, Michaela didn't question him further, but went over and helped him pack the bedding and furs away, dismantle the lodge and load the horses for their impending departure. Turning to Sully and forcing him to make eye contact, Michaela asked gently, "Where are we going to go?"

"Well…I reckon we'd head off inta the hills until we spot somewhere ta camp tonight. Does that sound okay?"

Not knowing enough about this area to question Sully's choice, Michaela really had no choice but to agree. So with a simple nod of her head the decision was made. Making a final check on the campsite and ensuring that the fires were out, Michaela pulled herself up onto Sheba's back as Sully mounted Jet. Easing the horses into a gentle walk, they set off to begin their adventure.

As Jet and Sheba jogged along contentedly, finding their own way for the most part, Sully took the opportunity to look at their surroundings. Hoping that Michaela wouldn't sense his real reason for avoiding the issue, being one of loss and despair, he preceded to point out areas of interest to her.

Although Michaela was also enjoying the quiet and the beauty of the Canyon, and finding Sully's commentary interesting. She was well aware that he was avoiding the opportunity to talk without being disturbed. It seemed that all he was doing was filling in the indomitable silence that resonated from the Canyon walls. She was beginning to wonder when or even if Sully was going to talk to her. Since their arrival, all Sully seemed to have said were what Michaela would call the pleasantries. She knew that he found talking hard, however more importantly she knew that he was well aware of how vital this time of healing was if they were to have a future, and if they were to reaffirm their love. Michaela couldn't believe it had taken her this long to work out why she had been so upset with all the events in Washington, but now the realization started to dawn on her.

It wasn't only what Sully had done in not telling her the truth, although that was bad enough, but to Michaela what seemed worse was that they had begun to drift apart and yet they were soul-mates. Not only had they a need to rebuild their trust in each other, and themselves, but also they had to re-discover their love.

Feeling a new sense of urgency to get Sully to open up, Michaela reached for his hand in an attempt to attract his attention. Seeing that this failed, Michaela sighed and said, almost to herself, "This is so silly Sully. Are we going to discuss the scenery for the next few days or are we going to actually talk about what happened?"

Pulling Jet to an abrupt halt, Sully turned to look Michaela in the eye for the first time in days and knew the time for idle chitchat had passed. Taking a deep breath Sully said, "Ok, you're right, I know, but we can't talk here and not just yet. Let's make camp and then we'll be free ta talk?"

Although Michaela knew that Sully was right, that it would indeed be difficult to have the kind of talk that they needed to have while they were still riding, she nodded her head in agreement, and they continued on in silence once again.

Sully thought to himself, as he rode along, that the silence was almost deafening. He had always appreciated the stillness of nature and to a large extent it helped still his mind. Not this time though. He wished that something would make a sound, but there was nothing. All the animals were quiet and still. There was no wind, but absolute silence filled his ears.

Glancing around at their surroundings, Sully spotted what he considered to be an ideal site for their camp. Drawing Jet to a halt, he waited for Sheba to stop with Michaela and said, "How 'bout over there for the camp?"

Looking at where Sully was indicating, Michaela nodded in agreement and said, "Ok, that looks fine. There is water nearby and a nice shaded spot. Shall we go?"

Pleased at the ease of Michaela's acceptance, Sully once again urged Jet into a steady trot and quickly reached the designated area. Checking to see that Michaela and Sheba were following, Sully jumped off and loosely tied Jet to a rocky outcrop before starting the work of setting up camp.

Upon reaching Sully and Jet, Michaela slid from Sheba's back and tied her next to Jet. Noting that Sully had already started preparing the ground for the fire and bedrolls Michaela said, "Do you want me to go and find some firewood?"

"Thanks that would be good. Don't go too far though."

"I won't, I'll be back soon."

Michaela was slightly put out at Sully's warning, as if she was a child on her first camping trip. However she knew deep down that Sully was really just looking out for her own safety. Deciding that it really wasn't worth saying anything, Michaela just left and proceeded to try and find some decent sticksfor the fire tonight.

Sully had watched Michaela leave and regretted that he had spoken to her as if she was incapable of taking care of herself. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. The truth was that he was so on edge about their upcoming talk, that he suspected that whatever he said, would have come out wrong. He would apologise when she came back.

Upon seeing Michaela approach the campsite laden with firewood, Sully walked towards her and said "Here let me help ya with that."

Grateful for the opportunity to release the heavy, cumbersome logs, Michaela eagerly handed them over to Sully, "Thank you, that would be good of you."

Receiving them with ease, Sully dropped them down beside the fire pit he had created. Offering Michaela a hand to help her sit, Sully took the opportunity to say, "I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to make it sound like ya were a child or somethin'. I know ya can take care of yaself. Please forgive me?"

Appreciating his effort Michaela replied, "It's alright Sully, I know you meant well and I also know that we are both on edge at the moment. Forget about it."

Glad that Michaela seemed to genuinely accept his apology, Sully continued on with the task in hand, providing some much needed warmth and light in the shape of the fire. Glancing across at Michaela, Sully noticed that she appeared to be so deep in thought that she hadn't even noticed the now blazing fire in front of her. In fact, Sully felt that she wouldn't' have noticed if a heard of buffalo came stampeding through the campsite. Sully usually wouldn't question her state of mind, knowing that Michaela was a deep thinker. He would choose to leave her in peace, however this time was different. He was beginning to feel that now was the time to make her open up. Now was the time to begin their healing together.

Leaving the fire, he approached her quietly, so as not to startle her. Kneeling down in front of her Sully gently placed a hand on her lap and said, "Michaela?" When no answer came he tried again, this time with more determination, "Michaela, look at me?"

When she finally turned her usually vibrant eyes towards his crystal blue ones, Sully saw the depth of her fear, pain and confusion for the first time. Resisting the desire to comfort and reassure by offering a physical embrace, Sully said in a voice filled with longing and love, "What is it Michaela? What are you so afraid of? Talk to me…please."

Turning to look Sully in the eye, the normally outspoken Michaela was suddenly feeling at a loss for words. Sully had finally given her the chance to actually speak what was on her mind, and yet she seemed to doubt her ability to verbalise what she needed too.

Taking a deep breath, Michaela began "Where do I begin Sully…what am I afraid of?"

Sensing the inner turmoil that was raging, Sully sat back and gave her the time and space to compose her thoughts and feelings.

Michaela suddenly felt all of the anger that she had been suppressing boil over, and she answered with such venom that she didn't know what to do for the best, "What is wrong Sully?… What is wrong?… I'll tell you what is wrong…You almost died…you lied to me…you killed someone and didn't tell me." "How do you expect me to feel about that?…How do you expect me to believe anything that you tell me now Sully?…How do you expect me to ever trust you again?"

Finishing the last with tears flooding down her flushed cheeks, Michaela ran out of the campsite and into the mountains without looking back. She ran as if her life depended on it. She ran as she had never run before. She ran as if all of her life, past and present were colliding in this one place, and all she knew was that she had to change the future, and that was by running.

"Wait Michaela…Wait!" was Sully's plaintive, desperate cry, but she didn't stop.

Sully sat there, confused, dumbfounded and scared. Never had he heard Michaela speak with such anger. Never had he seen her so afraid and yet so sure at the same time. Now he was faced with an empty campsite and an equally empty heart. Should he go after her? Should he leave her? Would she come back? Would she be alright? All of these questions and more were screaming through Sully's head. The one that won outthough, was that he had to go after her. He had to make her see what he had done. He had to make sure she was alright. With that decision made, Sully set off after his heartsong, after his life. He knew that time was of the essence as night was setting in and the mountains were no place to be at night time, especially when you are alone. Sully could see that Michaela had made a little headway, but he also thought that she might be having problems seeing as it was now nearly dark. He also suspected that she hadn't stopped crying since leaving the campsite consequently her visibility wasn't going to be the greatest.

Michaela assumed knowing Sully, he was more than likely follow. This spurred Michaela on and she quickened her pace. However she hadn't counted on the rock face being as uneven as it was, and with one slip that was it.

Sully looked up when he heard it and saw something that rocked the life out of him. It was his beloved Michaela falling from the cliff edge and he could hear the screaming "AAARGH….SULLY!"

Just then there was a loud thud as Michaela made contact with the ground. Then silence. Racing up the cliff as fast, and safely as he could, Sully peered over the edge and saw the still body of his life's force. Edging his way down to Michaela, he prayed constantly to the Spirits and to God that she would be okay, however as he neared her, it was evident that she was far from being well. In fact Sully wasn't even sure if she was alive.

Upon reaching her, Sully softly called "Michaela can ya here me? Come on sweetheart open ya eyes for me."

When there was no response, Sully began to feel even more scared as he cautiously sat next to her, and Sully began the oh so gentle exploration of her possible injuries. Moving up her body from her toes all the way to her usually soft, silky hair, Sully managed to discern that Michaela had a definite concussion and a broken arm, but apart from that she was incredibly lucky. However, the main cause for concern was that she still hadn't woken up and the night was getting dangerously cold.

Sully knew that either he had to make a fire here and hope that Michaela didn't get worse, or carry her back to camp for the warmth and comfort, of which may have certain risk attached to it.

Feeling that moving her would be the safer option in the long run, Sully scanned the area for the easiest route back to camp. Upon locating it, he bent down on Michaela's right side, so as to cushion her injured arm as best he could. He gently lifted the most precious cargo of his life into his arms, trying desperately hard not to jolt her arm, as he positioned her snugly against his chest. It struck him how incredibly light, but amazingly right Michaela felt nestled into his body. As he carried her, the short distance back to the campsite, Sully was reminded of another time in the past when he had been in a similar position and that was also his fault. He still hadn't fully forgiven himself for the agony that Michaela suffered after her fall at Harding's Mill. Luckily that had turned out alright in the end.

Bringing his thoughts back to the future as he shifted Michaela slightly, he wondered aloud, "When am I going to stop hurting the very person that means more to me than life itself? Hasn't she suffered enough in my hands? Surely she would be happier if I just left her?" Although Sully knew that these questions would have to be answered in time, now was not the time for self-pity and doubt. No, now was the time to concentrate on healing. A healing that he secretly hoped would be as much physical as spiritual. The first priority was to stabilize Michaela and then build a shelter until she was well enough to travel. Returning his gaze to the almost lifeless body in his arms, Sully began to pray vehemently to the Spirits for guidance and wisdom as he thought more about how he was going to care for his heartsong.

As he approached camp, Sully placed Michaela onto one of the bedding rolls that he had previously laid out. Re-stocking the fire, he assessed what would be needed for their impending night. Before leaving for the next job, that of collecting food and water, Sully reached into his medicine pouch and pulled out some Willow-Bark tea. Adding some to a pot of water that was resting on the fire, he did a final check on Michaela to insure that she was comfortable before heading off to the nearby river in order to catch some fish for tonight and tomorrow night as well as to retrieve some much needed fresh water.

Not wanting to leave Michaela longer than he had too, Sully didn't take much time with the fishing and soon returned to discover that there was absolutely no change at all in Michaela's condition. Not being a doctor, Sully really didn't know if this was good or bad, but his instinct said that it was far from good. He figured that Michaela had been unconscious for nearly two hours and there was no sign of that changing in the near future. Sully knew that he had to do something and quick, but what?

Thinking that it might be better to wait and treat her injuries properly once she woke up, Sully wondered if she had brought her medical bag with her, not that he really doubted it as she seemed to be physically attached to it most of the time. Seeing it hung over Sheba's saddle horn was a minor piece of good news for Sully. He now knew that once she was awake, she would be able to have proper pain relief apart from anything else.

Glancing around the campsite, desperate to find something to do that would be of practical help to Michaela, he suddenly remembered that he was going to build a shelter. He set to work, and before long the shelter soon took shape. Standing back to admire his handiwork, Sully smiled to himself. It wasn't a palace by any means, but it had a roof, made from pine boughs, two sort of walls again made from pine boughs and a soft floor on which he had placed furs, blankets and pine needles. He would move the bedrolls once he had Michaela situated.

Once again, lifting her into his arms, Sully thought that he would never tire of the feel of this, but then shaking himself free from the lustful thoughts, he walked the short distance to the shelter and laid her carefully on top of one of the furs. Just as he placed her down, he thought that he heard a soft moan escape her lips. Was she waking up finally? He certainly hoped so.

Leaning over her and softly stroking her face, Sully said "Michaela…Michaela open your eyes honey, come on for me?"

As a reply, all he got was another moan, but Sully was not disheartened as he knew that if she was moaning then she was becoming more aware and alert, so he tried again "Come on Michaela it's time ta get up. Open ya eyes for me?"

Once again a soft moan escaped her lips, but then Sully saw her eyes begin to flutter open then shut again. Being patient, Sully continued the gentle caresses on her face and un-injured arm, waiting for Michaela to come back to him.

A barely audible "Sully?" finally rewarded his patience.

Relief washed over Sully like the Horseshoe Falls cascades into the Niagara River.

"Yeah, sweetheart I'm here." Again Sully saw Michaela force her eyes open and try to focus. Feeling that she needed encouragement he said, "That's it, you're doing fine. Come on just a bit more."

Finally achieving focus and full vision, Michaela tried to sit up, but felt a weight on her shoulder pushing her back down "Whoa there, ya had a pretty nasty fall."

Not feeling strong enough to fight Sully, Michaela laid back down and asked, "What happened?"

That was the question that Sully had been dreading. Could he, no should he tell her what actually happened? Deciding to test the water first Sully asked, "What's the last thing ya remember?"

Closing her eyes, almost in an effort to try and think what the last thing was that she did clearly remember, Michaela took a deep breath and said, "I think the last thing that I remember was running away from you."

Sully who was encouraged, if a bit surprised, that she didn't appear to have any signs of amnesia, said "Yep that's right, but do ya know why?"

Throughout all of this, Sully hadn't taken his worried eyes from Michaela's face and as he could see her once again trying to remember what had happened. He could clearly detect the beginnings of a headache play across her features. Reaching out a soothing hand to caress her furrowed brow Sully said, "We don't have ta talk any more now if ya wanna rest." Seeing a gentle shake of her head, Sully kept quiet until Michaela was ready to answer his initial question.

Thinking of Sully's question, why had she run off, memories started to race through her mind and she knew exactly why she had run off. However, the question was what was going to happen now? Bringing her hand back to her forehead, Michaela began to feel the start of a splitting headache, but she couldn't put this off any longer. So as she took a deep, cleansing breath, she started to speak slowly and with purpose, wanting to make sure that Sully didn't misunderstand or misinterpret her answer, "Yes Sully I remember exactly why I ran off, because…because you lied to me. You hurt me. I didn't think that we were meant to keep secrets after everything that has happened between us."

Sully had been sitting in absolute silence since Michaela had started to talk and finally released all of her emotions. Somehow the only word he could think of saying right now was sorry, and that just wasn't going to wash with Michaela. Instead, he stayed silent and took one of her hands in his, gently rubbing his thumb across the top of it and waited for Michaela to continue.

With tears cascading down her cheeks, Michaela got to the hardest part of her confessional as she was now viewing it, "I don't know how I feel any more Sully. I almost lost you forever and that scared me so much. I don't think you have any idea what I went through the night that you were taken away. The children didn't understand…I didn't understand and then when they sentenced you to death, I felt my own life begin to ebb away. I had to get you out, but you still wouldn't tell me what you'd done. You would've died before you told me what you'd done. I would've lost my only one true love and not known anything about him."

Taking a last shaky breath, Michaela said the last in what wasn't more than a whisper. Not daring to look at Sully's eyes, which could see right through to her soul, Michaela focused on the flames from the campfire instead and finished by saying, "In my heart I still love you Sully and I always will, but my head isn't so sure any more. I don't know what to do any more Sully, and what's more I'm not sure I even care."

Sully hadn't taken his eyes off her throughout the entire time that she had been speaking, however the fact that Michaela had purposely avoided eye contact with him as she finished, did not go unnoticed by Sully. He, who was already shaken from what he had heard, now felt like his whole world was being turned upside down. Knowing that he had to give Michaela some kind of verbal response after she had just bared her soul to him, Sully chose his words carefully, speaking from his heart, while he continued to hold her, he began, "Michaela I know what ya must think of me and I ain't ever gonna be able ta say sorry enough for all I've done. I know that we need ta talk and sort things out, but I need ta take care of ya first. Ya arm needs settin'."

Michaela hadn't even thought about her injuries as she had been more concerned with her earlier confessional to Sully. However now, as Sully mentioned the pressing matter of her broken arm, she knew that they did indeed need to set it and relieve some of the pain. Turning her face towards Sully for the first time in what seemed like hours, Michaela quietly said, "Yes I guess you're right my arm does need to be set, if you get me bag I'll tell you what to do, then we'll talk."

"Good, ya sit there and I'll go get ya bag for ya."

Momentarily surprised that Sully even knew where her bag was, Michaela was too tired and sore to argue or question so she did as she was instructed and waited for Sully's return.

Before too long, Sully was back at her side with a cup of Willow-Bark tea and her medical bag. Handing the tea to Michaela, who uttered a quiet "Thank you" in response, Sully opened her medical bag and began to root around for something that might ease her discomfort. However, as he was no doctor, he didn't really have any idea what he was looking for. Turning to Michaela he said, in a voice, which had such a sense of utter defeat that it made Michaela catch her breath, "I'd like ta help, but I don't know what ya need."

Handing her the bag with a sigh of resignation, while turning his face and eyes away, Michaela gratefully accepted it. Before pulling away, she made a point of making Sully look up so she could see right into Sully's eyes and said, "Don't worry…I'll be fine…we'll be alright."

As soon as Michaela had taken her hand back, Sully turned away until he heard the last words and felt his heart begin to slow and relax for the first time in days, maybe even weeks. Sully suddenly realised that it was possible that he could actually forget his plan and sort out this whole mess once and for all. Maybe he wouldn't have to actually leave her and leave his future.

Bringing himself back to the present as he felt a touch on his arm, Sully brought his face back towards Michaela and to the issue at hand, her injuries.

Michaela had waited to speak until she was sure that Sully was listening. When she was sure that was the case, Michaela began, "I know that you want to help me and I am grateful for that as it is going to be hard doing this without help. This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you, but I need you to listen to everything that I tell you and do exactly as I say."

A slightly amused Sully listened carefully as Michaela explained the procedure for setting her arm and what exactly he was to do.

"So ya want me ta pull your arm?" Astounded at the request, Sully felt the need to check just in case he hadn't heard it right the first time.

"Yes Sully, I need you to pull my arm until I hear the bones crack back into place."

"Are ya sure…I mean I don't wanna hurt ya anymore."

Michaela wasn't surprised in the least at Sully's reaction. She knew herself that it wasn't a pleasant job and she also knew that it was definitely going to hurt…a lot. Taking his hand in her un-injured one, she looked deep into his eyes and said, "I know that you don't want to do it, but there really is no other way. You won't hurt me anymore than I am already and it will be over before you know it."

Finally accepting the inevitable with a soft nod of his head and said, "Okay are ya ready?" With a very shaky nod, Michaela gripped the furs with one hand and tried to keep herself steady while Sully positioned himself.

Making a final check that everything was prepared for afterwards and noting that Michaela was growing whiter by the second, due to anxiety more than anything, Sully took hold of her arm as she had instructed and gave it a firm hard yank. "AAAAGH," was the non-surprising reaction from Michaela as she recovered from the shock.

Finally finding her breath, Michaela said a quiet, "Thank you Sully…it's alright." However, Sully didn't really hear as he was quickly reaching for the laudanum that they had laid out ready. Sully handed a cup of the mixture to Michaela, with a pleading look in his eyes that clearly said drink. Not having the strength to fight him, but not really wanting the medicine, she knew it would make her drowsy. Michaela accepted the cup and forced down the bitter tasting liquid. Sully was pleased that Michaela didn't put up a fight and as he watched her drink, he was relieved that the worst was over and all that was left to do was to fashion a splint and place her arm in a sling. Reaching towards the sticks that he had sought out earlier, Sully began to gently wrap Michaela's arm and then placed it lovingly in a sling saying, "There ya go, maybe having a doctor in the family is starting ta wear off."

With a quiet chuckle and a final, "Thank you" Michaela lay back and closed her eyes as she allowed the laudanum to take affect.

Reaching for a blanket that lay close by, Sully covered his life, his love and sat back to thank the Spirits for their help.

As the evening rolled into early morning, Sully continued to watch over Michaela. Even though it wasn't entirely necessary, he felt obliged to do it. However, he found this quiet time was a useful tool for piecing together all that had happened and have been said over the previous evening. Allowing his mind to wander, Sully's initial thoughts turned to what Michaela had said before she ran off, as he began to relax back against one of the supporting struts.

He re-lived the entire confession of his heartsong, _"Where do I begin Sully…what am I afraid of? What is wrong Sully…what is wrong…I'll tell you what is wrong…You almost died…you lied to me…you killed someone and didn't tell me__How do you expect me to feel about that?…How do you expect me to believe anything that you tell me now Sully?…How do you expect me to ever trust you again?"_

It occurred to Sully that until now, he hadn't actually registered the power of what Michaela had said. Yes, he knew she was mad with him. Yes, he knew that he had a lot of ground too make up on, but he truly didn't realise just how much his deceit, although unintentional, had affected their relationship. How much his sentence, again not his doing, had affected her. Now he realised that all he had to do was to work out how he was going to repair the damage. Before he had time to formulate a plan, his mind did a sudden jerk backwards, into another time when thoughts of Michaela had consumed his tormented mind.

It was a time when her bravery had exceeded all of his expectations. A time when her tenacity and intelligence had given them a lead to clear his name. It was when they were with Eli at the records office after the breakout. As Sully let his mind recall the thoughts that he had, an understanding emerged. All of this was his fault! He did this to her, …to them! His own selfish pride had stopped him telling her about his time in the army and now that foolish pride had resulted in him being arrested and Michaela turning into a fugitive to save him.

How was he ever going to forgive himself?… No, how was she ever going to forgive him?…He had ruined everything because he wouldn't let her into his past. He hated himself and he wouldn't blame Michaela if she hated him too, but he doubted that. She wasn't capable of hate, only love. How could she still love him after all this? Although thinking about it, she clearly did, otherwise she wouldn't have done what she had…would she? No she had said that she would die for him, yes she loved him that much was certain

At this recognition, Sully had been afraid all this time of Michaela leaving him, that at one point he even considered saving her from doing the deed and actually leaving himself. But why…why had he even contemplated that thought when he himself had said that Michaela wasn't capable of hate? She had certainly not said that she didn't love him anymore…no, she still loved him in her heart, that was what she had said.

The more he tried to make sense of the thoughts and images that were assailing themselves in his already confused mind, the more he became aware that he had hurt the only person that meant more to him than life itself. He wondered how many more times he was going to say that…how many more times he would do that. He'd never be able to understand what Michaela saw in him and why she had agreed to marry him. What could he offer her? What could he bring her but a broken man who had lied to save his own foolish pride?

As he lay there in the quiet he decided that action was needed if he stood any chance of rectifying his mistake and mending his relationship. He needed to do what Michaela had been brave enough to do earlier. He needed to speak the truth from his heart and soul to hers…and hope that she was willing to listen. So taking Michaela's hand in his, Sully took a deep breath and started bearing his soul to the sleeping form beside him " I don't know if ya can hear me, but I reckon ya can so I guess I'd better start at the beginning. It was just after Abby died. I was so lost that I didn't know what ta do. I left home…didn't even go ta Abby and Hanna's funerals. Wrong I know, but couldn't do it. Made up for that since, so it don't matter none now."

Sully didn't really know why he was saying all of this to Michaela, maybe he was trying to make up for lost time or something. Whatever it was, strangely felt good and he continued, stroking his beloved's hand as he spoke, "Well anyway ya know that I didn't care if I lived or died so I joined up. When I got posted first, they sent me ta the front line, but then they found out I could shoot. That's when they got me ta act as a killer. God knows I hated it Michaela, even if I didn't really admit it then…I knew it was wrong."

Taking a breath to compose himself as he felt his palms begin to feel sweaty, Sully was once again astounded at the un-known power that Michaela held even in her sleep. Even before Abigail had died, Sully rarely, if ever, spoke this way. There was no doubt in his minds eye that his and Abby's love was very different, almost childlike in its make up. Where as Michaela's love knew no bounds and was true from dawn till dusk. She seemed to bring the same virtue out in him. Their love was limitless no matter what obstacles were in the way. They were meant to be together and there was no way that Sully was prepared to forego this and lose this beautiful creature from his life.

Feeling the end was near, Sully brought Michaela's hand to his lips and softly kissed her palm while he continued on the final part of his life's story. " When I shot the Confederate Major, I felt that I'd failed everyone…Abby, Hannah, my parents…and most of all myself. I just forgot about it…until now…and now I've failed you as well. I went back home and met Cloud Dancing and the rest ya know."

Knowing that there was still one thing that Sully needed to get out in the open. He held Michaela's hand tightly in his, almost receiving her love and courage through their linked fingers. Taking a shaky breath, Sully finished by saying, "There's only one thing left now Michaela…one thing that ya have ta know if we're ever going ta have a future. I didn't lie ta ya on purpose…I didn't deceive ya on purpose…and I didn't hurt ya on purpose. I just forgot about my past, until it caught up. Sorry just ain't enough but it's a start. If ya don't believe anythin' else I've said then please believe this my love…my life…my heartsong…I love ya more than anythin' and I will make this up ta ya somehow…some day if ya'll give me the chance. Please don't leave me like everyone else…please forgive me."

That was it and with a final, "I love ya" Sully lay down and closed his eyes allowing sleep to engulf him and release his mind from the tormented thoughts that had consumed him for so many years he had lost track. He had listened to his heart and borne his soul…his past to Michaela and now he just had to wait and see what would happen.

However unbeknownst to Sully, Michaela had heard everything…every shaky breath…every choked tear…every desperate plea had not fallen on deaf ears, but on open willing ears. Michaela vowed then and there that she would not tell Sully that she had heard all of his confession, just the last part as if it was a dream state. They would get things straightened out and they would enjoy the rest of their time alone, that much was certain. So with a glimmer of hope in her heart, Michaela closed her eyes and gave Sully's hand a loving squeeze as it lay across her stomach, before returning to her peaceful slumber.

As the chorus of birds greeted the morning, echoing around the Canyon's walls, a still groggy Sully opened his eyes and was momentarily disorientated as to why he was cradling his heartsong. The recollections of the previous day came tumbling back with veracity. Carefully shifting himself so he could have a better look at Michaela's condition, Sully was pleased to see a rise of pink hue on her cheeks and a peaceful look on her features. This was the best news that he had received in days.

Although Sully's heart felt lighter and his mind rested, there was still heaviness in his spirit. He wasn't initially sure as to the cause, but upon thinking about it, he came to the conclusion that despite the fact that he had laid his soul bare the previous night, it appeared that the Spirits still wanted him to actually speak directly to Michaela.

As he prepared himself to rise and start breakfast, Sully released Michaela's, hand but was met with resistance. Glancing down so he could see Michaela, he was stunned and overjoyed that it appeared that Michaela was waking up. Bringing her hand to his lips as he reached with his other hand to brush her hair away from her eyes, Sully spoke softly so as not to make her jump, "Michaela…come on wake up it's mornin'"

The response that greeted Sully was a slow positive one as Michaela's eyes fluttered open and closed and while a quiet, questioning, "Sully?" escape her lips.

"That's my girl, now try and open ya eyes again for me."

As the fog cleared slowly from Michaela's mind and she once again tried to open her eyes, meeting no resistance this time, she opened them fully and saw the smiling, yet still concerned face of her fiancé.

Realising that the danger had passed and that she hadn't sat up for nearly twelve hours, Michaela made to rise, but was reminded very quickly of the pain that was emanating from her broken arm.

Seeing what was about to happen, Sully gently placed a hand on her un-injured shoulder and said with laughter in his voice, "Whoa there I'll give ya a hand, but ya got ta take it easy."

Knowing that Michaela didn't like being dependent on anyone for anything, Sully was anticipating an argument, but when he didn't receive one he proceeded to help Michaela sit up and was rewarded with a shy, "Thank you Sully, that feels a lot better."

"Good, now I'll get some fish on for breakfast and then help ya down ta the river so ya can freshen up."

"That would be nice and I am hungry."

With that decided, Sully left Michaela's side for the first time in days and set about preparing the much-needed food.

Michaela could hear Sully moving around the campsite, but she was quietly pleased to be left alone for a little while. She had so much to think of and couldn't do that with Sully around. As she sat there, propped up against one of the supporting struts, Michaela's mind went back to all that she had said to Sully before the fall and all that he had said to her last night. Allowing her analytical mind to take over from her emotions, Michaela realised that actually Sully had been as scared as she had. What it came down to for both was the fear of being left alone. For Michaela it was the thought of Sully actually dying before their life had begun, and for Sully it was the thought of Michaela being so ashamed of what he had done that she would never want to see him again.

Making the conscious decision that today was going to be the start of the rest of their lives, Michaela knew that today was going to be the turning point that they both needed. She suspected that Sully still felt the need to apologise to her while she was awake, therefore she would let him to do that. Only she also knew that it was essential for her to be allowed the same right.

Thinking that she had been sitting in one place long enough, Michaela really wanted to try and stretch and to get some air. She attempted to get onto her knees, from where she could stand more easily. Just as she was about to take her first motion towards becoming upright Sully entered the lean-to and promptly offered his arm for Michaela to push up on to.

As Michaela stood, she uttered a soft moan followed by a "Thank you" to Sully who gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Hehelped her outside, where he had laid a nice fire and got some fish cooking alongside some brewing coffee.

Upon reaching the fire side, Michaela turned to Sully and said in a soft voice so the words didn't come out wrong, "I think I can manage from here…I won't be long I promise." Instantly feeling embarrassed about having to voice her reasons for needing privacy, Michaela turned to leave before Sully could see the colour of her cheeks.

Chuckling to himself at Michaela's predicament, Sully just nodded and decided that it was not a wise move to draw attention to what she had said, so he left her to it and hoped that she would be alright on her own.

Within ten minutes Michaela re-appeared looking much more refreshed and relaxed. Sully could have sworn that there was a glint in her eye that he hadn't detected for quite some time. Assisting her to take a seat on one of the logs that he had placed by the fire, Sully handed Michaela a cup of steaming coffee. He knew she would be in desperate need of it, having had nothin but a cup of willow-bark tea and some laudanum in the last twenty-four hours.

As Michaela finished her drink and reached to place the cup on the ground, Sully took it from her and said, "It's waiter service this morning ok?

Smiling at Sully's caring comments, Michaela just nodded her head and said "That's fine, thank you but I will be alright you know?" As Michaela said the last line she caught herself questioning the wisdom of that statement. Yes, physically she would be fine, however the real question was her emotional well-being, and there was only one answer for that and his name was Sully.

As Sully continued to tend the fire and their breakfast, he glanced up at Michaela speaking slowly and quietly, "Michaela…after breakfast…I want ta take ya somewhere nice…there's somethin' that I need ta tell ya."

Michaela knew exactly what he needed to say, but she would never let on. She knew how prideful and honourable Sully was, and to be able to say 'I know' just wouldn't be right or fair. So Michaela simply said, "That would be lovely Sully…I would like to see more of the Grand Canyon than the bottom of a cliff."

Pleased that once again there were no arguments, Sully began to feel a little braver and reassured that maybe not all of their trust was gone. After all if she was prepared to trust him enough to give her a guided tour, then there must be something there, mustn't there?

They finished their fish and coffee, cleaned up the campsite, ensuring that the fire was out and the plates put were away from friendly neighbourhood animals. The couple finally set off towards the waterfall that Cloud Dancing had told Sully about before he left. Although the journey was quiet, andwith little or hardly any conversation, neither seemed to mind over much as Sully pointed out areas of interest and helped Michaela gather some unusual herbs for her doctoring.

As they neared the waterfall, Michaela's eyes went wide as she saw the most spectacular sight of rainbows being tossed around in the cascading water. It was just like a child's picture she thought. Sully was delighted at her reaction, it was exactly what he had hoped for.

Taking her hand in his, Sully assisted Michaela to sit on the craggy rock face that edged the pool of crystal clear water. Turning towards her, Sully said, "Do ya wanna a go for a paddle while we talk?"

Giggling at the thought of it Michaela nodded and said, "Yes that would be good, but you'll have to help me with my boots and stockings."

Smiling as he spoke, "I'm sure that I can manage that for ya." Sully reached for Michaela's left foot and gently placed it on his lap. As he began to unlace her boot, his thoughts turned to how much he was actually enjoying doing this for her and the fact that once they were married he would be able to pamper her all the time. Shaking his head to bring himself back to reality, he couldn't believe what this woman did to him.

Once one boot was off, Sully reached for the other one not letting her left foot leave his lap. It didn't take him long before Michaela sat there in her stocking clad feet with such a relaxed look on her face that Sully wondered if she was actually asleep. As Sully reached up her legs to remove her stockings, his hands lingered there momentarily and he allowed himself to softly caress, where he had never been allowed before. When a soft moan escaped Michaela's mouth and her eyes shot open, Sully quickly withdrew his hands and looked down at the welcoming, cooling water.

"Sully…look at me…please?" As Sully turned to face his love, he was surprised at what he saw. There was no anger, no nervousness, and no hint of recrimination. All that met his eyes was pure, unadulterated love. "It's ok you know…I know that I've never allowed you to do that before…but it's ok…I kind of liked it." Surprised at her own admission, Michaela instantly turned bright red and looked away, but when she felt Sully's hands re-trace their earlier movements, Michaela relaxed once again and felt a new sensation begin to stir inside of her.

Sully was astounded that Michaela had actually admitted to enjoying his touch and had not jumped up and run off. However, what stunned him more was that she'd allowed him to repeat it. He could feel her body begin to tingle as it never had before. There was no doubt in his mind now that their souls and hearts were re-connecting, and their minds were not going to be far behind.

As Sully brought Michaela's stockings down from her legs, he didn't stop the gentle caressing, but instead brought her left foot up to his mouth where he placed a gentle kiss upon its arch. Michaela's reaction was instantaneous as a gasp came forth and her eyes shot open. Sully knew that would more than likely happen and was ready to withdraw and apologise at the same time, but when Michaela once again said, "Don't stop it's alright." Sully did the same with her other foot.

Sully really hadn't figured out what had transpired within Michaela, but whatever it was, he wasn't about to say anything to change the situation. However, he was growing aware of his own body's response to this new level of intimacy. He also knew that if he didn't withdraw soon it would be extremely difficult to stop later on and he had to talk to Michaela.

As he drew back and looked at Michaela, he didn't think that he had ever seen her so relaxed while in his company, but they had to stop. Placing her feet onto the rocky outcrop that they were sitting on, Sully took a deep breath to calm his desire filled body and said, "Feel better now?"

When the sound of Sully's sweet voice filled the air, Michaela begrudgingly opened her eyes and spoke in not more than a whisper "Yes, that was wonderful…thank you…I am so relaxed."

Pleased that his actions had achieved the desired affect, Sully knew that it was time for the final pain filled confessional that either would have to do on this trip. So composing himself, he took hold of Michaela's hand in his and just looked straight in her eyes as he spoke from the heart, "Good I'm pleased that ya relaxed, but I got ta tell ya somethin' and I just ask that ya hear me out."

Noting the serious, anguish filled look on Sully's face, Michaela nodded and let him continue, "This ain't easy, but it won't take long. I've been such a fool my whole life. I never let anyone in, cause I was afraid and now that almost cost me everythin'. Sorry just isn't enough to cover everythin' that I done ta ya. I'd understand if ya couldn't forgive me…if we could just be friends. That would be better than losing ya completely. I'm sorry Michaela for everythin'." With the last word said, Sully turned away from Michaela, picked up a stone, and tossed it in the lake, while he awaited Michaela's response.

Michaela didn't think that she had ever heard such a sad, honest, heart felt plea for forgiveness in her life. She knew that what she said now was going to either make or break her life and their relationship. So reaching for Sully's hand, which he had dropped when he turned away, and making him look at her while she spoke, Michaela began, "Oh Sully, what torment you have been through in your life. I can't deny that I wasn't hurt when you refused to tell me about your life after Abigail…but I understand why you did what you did. You were just afraid of losing me, like so many others in your life. You wouldn't have lost me Sully…I would've stood by you no matter what."

Seeing the despair rise onto Sully's face as she said the last statement, Michaela realised that what she said did not come across the way that she had intended. In fact, she had just reiterated to Sully that all they were ever going to be were friends. Needing to think quickly and yet remain sincere, Michaela continued, "What you did was wrong Sully…both the act of killing the soldier and the act of not telling me. You and I both know that. But Sully, by not telling me you made it so much harder on yourself as you made it your battle not ours. I would've died for you when I broke you out despite the secrecy. I would still die for you if I had to. I would still stand by your side through thick and thin if I had to."

Before finishing, Michaela looked at Sully once more to ensure that he was understanding what she had said, when she saw the despair being replaced by hope, she continued, "You have to trust me whole heartedly as I trust you. You said that you hoped that we could remain friends if nothing else. Sully we will always be friends no matter what…but I want more than that…I need more than that. I love you and I want to be with you for eternity. Nothing can stop me marrying you…nothing."

With tears streaming down both sets of cheeks, Sully tried to comprehend what he had done to deserve this beautiful, eloquent, strong woman. He felt Michaela sealed her pledge with a kiss that was so earth shattering it seemed to Sully that all of Michaela's fear, anxiety, confusion and love was now channelled into this one single act of intimacy. Sully drew back gasping for breath, wanting more…no needing more, there was no doubt in his mind that all of the pain that both had endured was over and all that remained was a shining path towards their future.

When Sully's breathing had returned to something more akin to normal, he looked up at Michaela with pure devotion upon his face and unfettered love in his eyes. However, the sight that met him was not as joyous as he was feeling. Michaela was sitting there crying. Sully really wasn't sure why. He had felt that things were back on track. So asking softly, "Michaela, what's wrong?"

Forcing herself to look into Sully's beautiful eyes, Michaela spoke with a distinct crack in her voice, "Oh Sully…there's nothing wrong. It's just that I've never…well…kissed like that."

Relived that it wasn't anything more serious than her old insecurities, Sully brought his hand up to gently caress her tear streaked face and said, "Sweetheart…I love ya…and ya love me right? With a subtle nod from Michaela, Sully continued, "There ain't nothin' wrong with ya wantin' ta kiss or touch ta show me that. Just remember that okay?"

As Michaela reached around to kiss his hand, which was placed lovingly against her cheek, she said, "I'll try to remember…I promise. I love you too, very much my wonderful Byron."

Before Sully could respond, Michaela once again seized his lips with her own. For the first time she truly felt free and open to his most gentle loving lips. Without warning, Michaela moved her hand down to rest just above his heart and felt her fingers slide inside his shirt, and started playing with his chest hair.

As a moan escaped Sully's mouth, Michaela immediately drew back, but Sully grabbed her hand before she could move right away ""Oh God Michaela I love ya…don't stop…that feels so good." Hoping that this would be the reassurance that Michaela desperately needed, Sully was pleased when he let go of her hand and discovered that it found its way back inside his shirt. Feeling constricted by his clothes, Sully urgently wanted and needed release from them. As he continued to stroke his hands through Michaela's beautiful, silky hair and kiss her luscious lips, Sully wondered how Michaela would react if he took his shirt off.

Pulling back slightly from Michaela, and seeing her unique eyes totally glazed over with unspent passion, Sully quickly began to lift his shirt off over his head, all doubts and fears gone. Leaning back over Michaela to re-claim her lips with his, Sully wasn't surprised by the speed at which the soft sensual kiss heated up until they were left breathless.

Sully couldn't put his finger on what had brought about this new found confidence in his heartsong and he wasn't going to stop her. However, he was increasingly aware of the response his body was giving to her caresses and kisses. He knew that they could very easily go too far and Michaela would never forgive him for that…he would never forgive himself.

Reluctantly, Sully forced himself to pull back once again and looking Michaela in the eyes, while caressing her cheek, Sully spoke with such adoration in his voice that it made Michaela catch her breath, "My sweet, innocent, loving Michaela…you mean the world to me. The way that you just were was…incredible and I love ya so much for trusting me enough ta let go finally." As Michaela reached her hand up to capture Sully's, bringing it down to her lips, he continued, "But ya know that we gotta stop…or things might…well ya know…we might go to far."

Michaela knew that was the reason that Sully had pulled back and she was eternally grateful for that, but there was something different, something which she hadn't felt before. Maybe because she had always been afraid of letting go enough to feel anything. Not now though. Now she felt in every sense of the word apart from one. She wasn't afraid any more. She wasn't afraid to love or be loved. Michaela knew that she should wait for her wedding night, and she knew that this wasn't right. However, the one over-riding factor was that she knew, deep in her heart that she and Sully were going to be together for eternity…they were soul-mates.

With this in mind she made her decision…a decision, which would change everything, but for the better she was sure. Pushing herself into a half sitting position, Michaela took Sully's hand in hers and spoke slowly so that there would be no misunderstanding, "Sully I love you…you know that. I thank you for stopping when I wasn't able to…but…I don't want to stop next time…I want…no I need to show you just how much I love you."

Sully had stayed silent, allowing Michaela to speak what was in her heart, but he now sat stunned by what she had said. If the truth were known, he wasn't sure that he had heard her right. He knew that he had to ask her if she really meant what she had just announced. So taking a deep breath Sully said, "Are ya sure that ya wanna do that…I mean be with me like that? I can wait for our weddin' night for ya Michaela…God know that I can wait for eternity for ya Michaela, but I need ta here ya say it. I need ta be sure it's what ya want?"

Michaela smiled at Sully's response, she wasn't surprised in the least and she truly thought that he was a gentleman in every way needing to make certain before anything happened. She was sure though and now was the time to convey that to Sully. Tightening the hold on his hand and looking directly into his eyes…into his soul, Michaela said softly for his ears only, "Sully I know that you would wait and I love you. You and I are going to be married…in our hearts we already are…Sully would you do me the honour of being my first…my only…my one true love…and be with me tonight and forever."

Sully was so blown away by what Michaela had said that he sat dazed for an instant before finding his voice, "Yes Michaela I will be and I am ya first…ya only…ya one true love. But not here…not now, but I would love ta be with ya tonight and always."

Slightly confused by Sully's reply, Michaela looked up at him in puzzlement. Sully knew that she was questioning what he had said so he quickly added, by way of an explanation while softly caressing her soft porcelain cheeks, "Michaela our first time shouldn't be up a mountain…it needs ta be somewhere romantic…somewhere private. It will be tonight I promise, but just give me time ta work things out ok?"

Knowing that what Sully had said made sense, Michaela nodded in agreement. With a shy smile on her face, she reached down to try and put her boots on while saying, "Well, if we're having an early night tonight…we'd best get going back to camp."

Chuckling to himself at Michaela childlike excitement, Sully gave her a hand with her stockings and boots, then put his shirt back on and loosely tied his own boots. Before long, they were ready to return to camp and to their future.

As Sully helped Michaela down the slight incline that led back to their campsite, he allowed his thoughts to go to the impending night and what that might entail. One thing was certain in Sully's mind, he wanted…no needed to make this night as special as he could. It was essential to Sully that Michaela be treated like a princess tonight and in order to do that, their campsite would need to be altered slightly. Turning as they walked, Sully said, "Michaela when we get back ta camp, I'm gonna need ta do some things for tonight, okay?"

As Michaela's curiosity began to peek, she kissed Sully's hand, which was still tightly clasped in her own and asked, "Is there anything that I can do to help? I've hardly done anything since we got here."

Not surprised by Michaela's need to keep busy, Sully leant over to place a soft kiss to her cheek and whispered in her ear, "No my sweet Michaela, there ain't nothin' that ya need ta do 'cept rest, okay." With a nod of her head and an equally soft kiss to Sully's cheek, they continued on in companionable silence and within the hour had arrived at the campsite.

Upon their arrival Sully settled Michaela against a log and set about re-igniting the extinct fire which soon produced a warm, satisfying glow on their surroundings as the light began to dwindle. Sensing Michaela's need for additional warmth, Sully approached her from behind and draped a blanket around her shoulders, being careful not to jar her injured arm. Just as Sully was turning to go back to the fire, he felt Michaela's hand on his arm and heard a soft, "Thank you Sully." In response, Sully just gave her un-injured shoulder a soft squeeze and left to return to stocking the fire for the night.

Once Sully was satisfied that there was adequate heat emanating from the fire, he poured some coffee which he had set brewing when they arrived back. Handing a cup to Michaela he said, "Here ya go. How's ya arm holdin' up? I can get ya some Laudanum if ya want?" With a gentle smile and a soft caress of Sully's cheek, Michaela simply took the cup and said, "Thank you but I'm fine…just a bit tired that's all."

Surprised at her own words and their hidden meaning, Michaela instantly looked away, a reaction that Sully found endearing. He knew exactly what Michaela was saying, but she just hadn't got the courage to actually verbalise it. Feeling the same burning desire deep within him, Sully decided that he had to get to work with arranging their bedding, so giving Michaela a gentle kiss he said, "Won't be ta much longer…do ya think that ya can hold out a little bit?" When Sully received a nod as his answer, he left to tend to their boudoir.

As Michaela watched Sully retreat to their shelter, she felt herself growing warm with the mere thoughts of what was going to happen. Biologically, yes she knew what happened; however she doubted that this would get her very far tonight. She really knew precious little about the emotions that are tied up in the union of lovers. Her mother had never talked with her about it, and all she knew was what Rebecca had said about doing what feels natural, when Michaela was in Boston on one of her trips home.

What would Sully expect? Would she be able to make him happy and fulfilled? She had no answers for these and countless other questions that were running through her head. She knew that it wasn't unusual to be nervous, or even scared, but one thing was clearer than anything to Michaela, and that was that this was her decision. She trusted Sully implicitly and loved him unconditionally. She knew that tonight was going to be a night to remember and as special as Sully had said. With that final thought Michaela, took a sip from her coffee, awaiting Sully's return and the start of their night of passion…she hoped.

Shortly before nightfall, Sully returned to Michaela's side and knelt in front of her offering her his hand saying, "Are ya ready for bed…I don't know 'bout you but I'm rather tired."

Smiling shyly at Sully's use of her words earlier, Michaela gladly accepted his hand and said quietly, yet from her heart to his "Yes I am very ready for bed…shall we go?"

With that Sully led Michaela towards their shelter…towards what he hoped would be paradise if just for a short while.

As they reached the entrance, Michaela turned to Sully and said in a voice which held so much promise, yet tinged with such naivety, "Just so you know I don't have any regrets…not now…not ever…I love you with all my heart…all my body…and all my soul."

"And I will love ya just the same my dear sweet heartsong." Was Sully's heartfelt reply as he led Michaela into the lean-to where upon he assisted her to sit on one of the blanket-covered logs that he had arranged earlier.

Not quite sure what to do now, but knowing that Sully was probably just as nervous as she was, Michaela decided that the direct approach may be helpful, if not the most romantic. Reaching to take the tie out of her hair, she spoke softly, "Sully…I'm not sure…that is…I don't know what to do?

Although Sully had been married before, he found himself on new territory tonight and was floundering himself as to where to go from here. He didn't want to frighten Michaela, and if he acted on his impulses, that could quite possibly happen. Moving behind Michaela and replacing her hands with his own, Sully began to run his fingers through her beautiful long silky hair, something that he had dreamed of doing since he first laid eyes on her all those years ago.

When a soft moan escaped Michaela's mouth, Sully kissed the side of her neck and whispered in her ear, "Just relax and do what comes naturally and feels right." Taking him at his word, Michaela turned around and reached up to draw Sully's mouth down to meet her wet lips, a task that Sully was only too happy to oblige her with.

Before too long, they were both on the floor and neither appeared to want to release the other. Finally, Sully drew back breathless and said, "Oh Michaela…you're amazin'. I love ya so much that ya will never know…I just don't wanna rush things."

"I love you too Sully…As you said, just do what feels right." Was Michaela gasp-filled reply. She couldn't believe what was happening to her and how much she was actually enjoying it.

As they drew one another into another smouldering kiss, Sully started to undo the buttons on Michaela's blouse, ensuring that his eyes never left her face until she was ready. With no hint of her pulling back, Sully assisted her off with it, taking extra care with her broken arm. Once free from it, and under Sully's eyes for the first time, Michaela tried to turn away, but Sully wouldn't let her.

He had been anticipating that this would be her reaction on more than one occasion tonight. He would continue to reassure and caress until she was ready to move on. Tonight was her night and nothing was going to change that. So as Sully traced his fingers down her bare arms and across her back, he whispered sweet nothings in her ear and she began to relax again.

All of these feelings were just so new to her…and to Sully to some extent. However, Michaela was fast discovering the beginnings of an unlit fire that had just ignited deep within her and it was starting to burn out of control. The heat, which it was emitting, was palpable and Michaela was quickly loosing control over everything.

Reaching for Sully's shirt with her good hand, Michaela attempted to remove it from his buckskins so that she could put her cold hand on his warm heart, and feel the strong rhythm of its love for her. Noting that she was having problems, Sully relieved the frustration and took his shirt off for her.

Looking down, and feeling completely ashamed of the situation, Michaela spoke so quietly that Sully had to lean closer to hear her, "Thank you Sully…I feel so useless…how am I ever going to please you when I can't even do a simple task like removing your shirt?"

Stunned that she should be feeling like that on this most special night, Sully instantly sought to reassure and love by placing soft sweet kisses all over her face, neck and hands. Making her look at him Sully said, "Michaela ya ain't useless. Think of it this way…think of it as me looking out for ya…lettin' ya save ya energy for later."

Sully saw the expression on Michaela's face change from despondency to enlightenment, and knew that he had got his subtle point across. Taking advantage of this, Sully once again began to trail a path of soft sweet kisses along Michaela's neck, down her arms, paying special attention to her broken one as a father would have done a child. When he reached her chest, he glanced up into her eyes for permission to continue. What he saw there was more than permission; it was almost an unspoken plea to rid her of her clothes. The fire that was burning so visibly in her eyes, was nothing compared to what was coursing its way through her body with every kiss and touch that Sully gave.

Before untying the ribbons that held Michaela's camisole together, Sully whispered, "Ya so beautiful and never doubt that." With that said, the passion was unleashed as Sully freed Michaela from her camisole, gently and lovingly. Her skirt soon followed along with his buckskins. All that was left for this most special night were their undergarments.

Again Sully felt the need to slow the pace. Re-positioning himself along Michaela's side, he began a slow torturous pleasure that would give her an idea of what was to come when they became one. Caressing and stroking his way up her body, he paused at her breasts too softly fondle one at a time. When a soft almost animal like moan was heard from Michaela, Sully grinned to himself and wondered what she would do when he increased the pressure and advanced the caresses to kisses.

Pushing himself into a half sitting position, Sully gradually, so as not to alarm Michaela, moved over her beautiful, un-touched body. As he moved, he allowed his hands free reign and felt Michaela writhe under him. He really couldn't believe that she was responding so strongly to him. It seemed to him that her love was limitless where he was concerned and this fact made him desire her all the more. It was just so amazing to him that she seemed to know what to do and how to react despite the fact that she had never been with a man.

As Sully moved, Michaela let her own hand wander of its own accord, but feeling the contours of Sully's muscular physique ripple beneath her palm, spurred Michaela on. She needed more than just to be able to touch him…she needed and wanted to kiss every inch of him.

Just as that thought came into her mind, Sully brought his lips down onto Michaela's stomach for the first time. Her reaction was instantaneous. Sully could tell from the retraction of her skin and the goosebumps that shot to the surface that Michaela was definitely enjoying his ministrations. Feeling her hand grasping his hair, Sully moved his kisses upwards towards her waiting, darkened nipples. Using one hand to steady her, Sully placed the other one on one breast, gently rolling it around his palm. At the same time, he took its twin into his mouth for the first time. Sully's mouth suckled and teased, licked and nibbled his way around her, continually keeping his eyes fixed on Michaela's face. All he could hear were gasps and cries of pleasure as Michaela reacted to this new intimacy. Sully let go and started to take the other into his mouth. Michaela reached out and hoarsely whispered, "Oh Sully…I have never felt so alive…love me my Byron…love me now."

How could he resist such an invitation? He couldn't so seizing Michaela's lips with his for a short, yet passion-filled kiss, Sully uttered the last words that would be spoken tonight, "I've never felt more alive Michaela…you give me the air to breathe…of course I'll love ya my sweet heartsong."

Sully knew that although Michaela was ready emotionally, physically he wanted and needed to give her more pleasure. So, drawing back for the last time he assisted her with removing her pantaloons as he did the same with his own pants. Returning to his prior goal of fondling her breasts Sully kissed and suckled as he had done before, eliciting the same response from Michaela.

This time, however, upon leaving her breast, he didn't return to her luscious lips. This time he continued kissing and caressing his way down her pristine body. When he reached the point of no return, he whispered, "I love ya" and slowly moved his hand towards its goal. With Sully's gentle ministrations Michaela relaxed into this new intimacy. Sully once again placed a hand on her hips to steady her, only then did he allow himself to slowly slide one finger down into the warmth of her folds. Michaela immediately bucked off the bed of furs, not believing this new, wonderful sensation, quickly settling back down, not afraid of verbalising the surging emotions that were running out of control, she cried out her joy.

Just as Michaela neared the peak of her first orgasm, Sully moved over her and prepared for their initial encounter, all the time whispering words of reassurance and love, he entered her. Pain engulfed her senses and she felt that she couldn't hold back from screaming. However, a new, strange sensation flooded her, as she grew wet with Sully's gentle thrusts. She truly felt like she was flying, with the fire still burning strongly, Michaela discovered that her body was reacting of its own volition and meeting Sully's thrusts with her own. Sending Sully reeling from the power of their first encounter.

Flipping Michaela over so she was on top of him, Sully felt so exhilarated and free he had to force himself to calm down for Michaela's sake. With Michaela now positioned safely and securely, he began to slow the encounter down.

Michaela could sense that Sully was trying to restrain himself for her benefit, however that was the last thing that she actually wanted. Now feeling a sense of power in her new position, Michaela leant down, brushing her breasts across Sully's stomach and took one of his desire-darkened nipples into her mouth. She desperately wanted to give Sully the same pleasure that he had given her earlier. When a similar response was heard, Michaela smiled and repeated the process with the other one. Then finding that she could control their union, Michaela placed one hand on Sully's chest, to steady herself and began to push harder and faster. Sending them both into the realms of ecstasy and beyond, They both reached their pinnacles, and the raging flames of passion were doused, for now. Michaela collapsed exhausted, but deliriously happy, onto Sully's chest.

As Sully eased Michaela onto her side, so that she was more comfortable while he reflected on what had just happened. He had always suspected that she would be fiery and passionate when it came to their private moments as she was when it came to their public ones. It seemed to him that he wasn't disappointed. There was no doubt in his mind that she was an amazing woman and he was determined to treasure the love and trust that she had in him.

As their breathing returned to normal, Sully covered them both with a blanket. He softly kissed the top of Michaela's head and whispered in her ear, "Thank you Michaela…I love ya so much. Are ya alright?"

Forcing her eyes open and turning so that she was looking directly into Sully's eyes, Michaela tried to put her thoughts and feelings into words, but she doubted that she would be able to fully express what she really felt, "Sully…that was the most incredible…loving…amazing…thrilling experience that I have ever had. It is I who should thank you Sully, I love you with everything that I have."

Sealing her thanks, with a soft sensual kiss, Michaela lay her head on Sully's chest and was eased off to sleep listening to the sounds of his heart beating strongly for her. With Sully's dream of a reaffirmation successfully complete; their love made stronger and deeper than ever before, Sully closed his eyes, while still holding a protective arm around his beautiful lover, and allowed sleep to claim him as well. Their dreams that night were of better times to come…the children and home.

**The End or is it**


End file.
